Topic started by Bryan and Soosi Siegfried (@ as5305-p008.dialin.iupui.edu) on Tue Mar 5 06:18:28 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

My wife and I are expecting our first child. She is Tamil Catholic. Some of my friends and I are planning to throw a little party for her, along the lines of the pregnancy ceremony celebrating in TN around the 7th months of pregnancy. However, we don't know too much about the ceremony. Little things like "What is the Tamil name?" My Tamil friends don't know, either.

We aren't in a good situation to send her to her Mom's house, so we cannot follow the traditions too closely. Still, does anyone have advice on how you or others have celebrated this here in the States?

Thanks,
Bryan

Responses:

• From: Venki (@ proxyle01.ext.ti.com) on: Tue Mar 5 10:12:13
  
  The Tamizh name for the ceremony is called 'ValaiKaappu'. It literally means 'to make one wear bangles'. Needless to say lot of bangles both the glass variety and gold ones are used. Others should give you more details on the ceremony.
  
  
• From: K Adaikkalm (@ 63-93-69-52.lsan.dial.netzero.com) on: Tue Mar 5 10:22:44
  
  Pregnancy and child birth is closely associated with religious concern. I believe the Tamil Christians paid more attention to religion than the Tamil culture and of course the Hindus as well. Go along with our American tradition. Your child will be blessed and will survive. I know I am no help. Sorry about that.
  
  The fact is the Tamils of Hindu faith is the majority the world over. They themself don't follow Tamil culture. It is Hindu culture they follow. Look at their names. They are Hindu gods and goddesses names except for a few. Tamil culture is so intermingled with Hinduism. It is only 'lip service' my friend.
  
  You know, we Tamils are so muddled up with culture, language and religion. We need help. We are a society that cannot be corrected. The great holy poet VaLLuvar, Auvvaiyar, Bharathiyar, Kannathasan and many others tried. They could not help.
  
  Just a thought for the day. "The Tamils who are Hindus, Muslims and Christians are not united in Tamil culture at all, but to their religions. United in religions and seperated in cultures". - Adaikkalam
  
  Watch. Some one is there to attack me!
  
  
• From: Madhu (@ webproxy03qfe0.sbi.com) on: Tue Mar 5 15:50:03
  
  Adaikkalam,
  
  "The Tamils who are Hindus, Muslims and Christians are not united in Tamil culture at all, but to their religions. United in religions and seperated in cultures".
  
  It is very true in India. The same people when they leave India, they will become more tolerant and supportive of each other. Many Indian children in US are marrying outside of their religion, caste and language. The white majority in US don't diffrentiate Tamils, pakistanis, Hindus or Christians. They look at your brown race and group us all together. After September 11th Attack on WTC, all brown people(South Asians) are looked with suspecion.
  
  Indias constitution gaurenteed all citizens equal rights. Then the question is why we are divided in India? Is it due to failure of our social, political, economic and religious systems? Or is it due to overpopulation or a combination of all? Our elite lacked the vision to form effective policies to address the issues raised above after independence. As a result our society is divided as you described - United in religion and caste and seperated in culture!
  
  
• From: pradeep (@ agent.lisco.com) on: Wed Mar 6 11:58:13
  
  Its very Good to follow the tradition of doing valai kappu at the seventh month. The emotional part of brain develops around seventh month and hecne our tradition have brought this ritual. The mother's emotional state infleucnes the emotional state of the kid. There fore to make the mom happy the mother is given gifts and send to her home where she can get help and relax . Glass bangles are a must because the hearing ability is well developed in the kid. hence the sound of the glass bangles amuses the growing kid. ( what a great throught).
  
  For my wife, we did this in a temple , inviting a few friends, did some poojas offered her bangles, clothes cooked the foods she liked and brought what ever she wanted.
  
  Since your wife is christian, you can do at home. Invite few friends, get gifts whatever she likes (what ever makes her happy). Get flowers, glass bangles etc. Start your party with a prayer and a wish that the kid to be born should be healthy, happy, a content person with a good purpose of life in soceity. Let the delivery be easy and be safe both for kid and mom.
  
  With this wish let the husband first offer her flower and put a glass bangle to the mom, followed by friends, each making a wish.
  Let the party end with the prayer.
  
  THIS WILL BE REAL FUN.
  
  
• From: pradeep (@ agent.lisco.com) on: Wed Mar 6 11:59:09
  
  Its very Good to follow the tradition of doing valai kappu at the seventh month. The emotional part of brain develops around seventh month and hecne our tradition have brought this ritual. The mother's emotional state infleucnes the emotional state of the kid. There fore to make the mom happy the mother is given gifts and send to her home where she can get help and relax . Glass bangles are a must because the hearing ability is well developed in the kid. hence the sound of the glass bangles amuses the growing kid. ( what a great throught).
  
  For my wife, we did this in a temple , inviting a few friends, did some poojas offered her bangles, clothes cooked the foods she liked and brought what ever she wanted.
  
  Since your wife is christian, you can do at home. Invite few friends, get gifts whatever she likes (what ever makes her happy). Get flowers, glass bangles etc. Start your party with a prayer and a wish that the kid to be born should be healthy, happy, a content person with a good purpose of life in soceity. Let the delivery be easy and be safe both for kid and mom.
  
  With this wish let the husband first offer her flower and put a glass bangle to the mom, followed by friends, each making a wish.
  Let the party end with the prayer.
  
  Give her a new dress and her favorrite food. And finally food for the friends.
  
  THIS WILL BE REAL FUN.
  
  
• From: David Selvaraj (@ 61.11.83.50) on: Wed Apr 3 03:27:17
  
  Adaikalam,
  
  Just b'cos u have convetred to Chritianity, you donot become American. Stop flying and come down to ground, mister. Remember, you/ your ancestors were still Hindus/ Tamilians before ypu/ they got lured to biscuit & milk.
  
  The greatness of this country is that, it has its tradition based on the region, climate and food. The same is true for all the countries, including 'Chritian' lands.
  
  I hope people like you can stop fantasising and leave out this ridiculous mental-mastrubation
  
  

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