Topic started by Skanthavelu Nadarajah (@ edtntnt7-port-81.dial.telus.net) on Wed Jul 24 01:33:48 .
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The story I am about to tell is a humorous comedy drama. It is titled "Skanthavelu Nadarajah and Shanthi Ranganathan". This story is set in 2007 in Sri Lanka. This story is fiction(obviously) and any similarity to any person living or dead and events past and present are 100% coincidence.
I hope you all like my story. Jai Karunamayi!
Prologue:
In 2003, Skanthavelu Nadarajah(formerly, Greg Komarniski) moves from the Bible belt town of Wainwright to the big city of Edmonton. In the first year, he meets a kind young woman by the name of Shanthi Ranganathan. They become really good friends. One day, Shanthi approaches Skanthavelu and asks him if he wants to move with her back to Sri Lanka. Skanthavelu eagerly says, "Yes, I will go with you" In 2006, Skanthavelu and Shanthi move to Colombo, Sri Lanka. They take up residence in seperate houses on Grandpass Road in Colombo. Now, Skanthavelu is settled in his now home. It is now 2007. Unknown to Skanthavelu, he will have a dramatic experience with Shanthi unlike any he has ever had with her people.
The Tamils... The story begins.
It is 7:00am Colombo time. Skanthavelu wakes up. He is happy and ready to start a brand new day.
He has a shower and gets dressed. At 8:00 am, he goes to do his morning prayers. While Mr. Nadarajah was in the midst of his prayers, Lord piLLaiyAr Who is the remover of obsticles and guides all on the right path appears before Skanthavelu. Skanthavelu says, "Oh my Lord. Why have you come before me?" piLLaiyAr says, "I have come with a message. Today, you will have a dramatic experience with the Tamil woman you know as Shanthi Ranganathan. After this, your view of Tamil women will change." Then Lord piLLaiyAr vanishes in a shaft of light. Then Mr. Nadarajah continues his prayers with his elephant faced Lords revelation flowing like a river through his mind. At 9:00, Skanthavelu sits down and has his breakfast. As he was eating, the phone rang. Saknthavelu answers the phone, "Good morning". It was one of his friends, Vasantha Reddy. Vasantha says, "Mr. Nadarajah, this is Vasantha. I have to tell you something. It is very urgent." Vasantha was sounding really frantic. Skanthavelu asks, "What is it?" Vasantha says, "I will tell you when I get there" After talking to Vasantha, Skanthavelu finishes his breakfast, reads that days issue of vIrakEsari, and ponders the cryptic message he received during his prayers.
A few minutes later, Vasantha arrives at Skanthavelus place. Skanthavelu asks, "What is going on? What happened?" As they were walking down the street, Vasantha turns to Skanthavelu and says, "It is Shanthi. As I was walking along,
I could see Shanthi in a back alley about to get mugged. The mugger attempted to take her wallet.
Shanthi puts herself into a pose which is hard for me to describe and shouts at the mugger that she knows karate and is not afraid to use it."
Skanthavelu, suprised, exclaims, "Shanthi?!? That petite piece of Tamil womanhood doing karate? Oh Great piLLaiyAr! Great kaNNan! I got to see this one! Lord piLLaiyAr came to me in a vision and told me that I will have this dramatic experience with Shanthi which will forever change my view of Tamil women. :-) Vasantha says, "Well, you certainly will after you see Shanthi!" Within minutes, Skanthavelu and Vasantha arrive at the place where Skanthavelu started to believe where his experience will begin. In the alley, Skanthavelu could see a short round man yelling at someone that they are an amateur and they do not know karate. Skanthavelu said, "This must be it. The place where I will have this whole new experience. Vasantha calls after Skanthavelu, "MR. NADARAJAH! WAIT! DON'T CALL SHANTHI AN AMATEUR OR YOU WILL BE- sorry..."
It was too late, "Skanthavelu was already in the
alley. Vasantha curses under his breath.
When he got to the alley, Skanthavelu could see Shanthi moving toward who appeared to be the mugger. The mugger looked like he had been beat up and was quite astonished. The mugger said in a southern Texas drawl, "When ah sayed that, Ah meant ya still have lawts ta learn!"
Shanthi then places herself in a pose which seemed to Skanthavelu like a danceing pose rather than a karate stance. Skanthavelu mumbles to himself, "That mugger is right... Shanthi IS an amateur! That is NOT karate! hehehehe... OH MY GOD!!! hehehehehehehe..." The mugger runs out of the alley with Shanthi running in hot pursuit after him. Skanthavelu stands in the middle of the alley laughing hilariously at the specticle he saw before him. "OH! GREAT GANAPATHI! GREAT VISHNU! HA! HA! HA! HA!HA! This must be it! The dramatic experience that will give me a whole new experience of Tamil women! What a JOKE! hehehehehe! HO! HO! HO!" Skanthavelu adds, "I think I will go home now. Shanthi does not know a thing about karate! HAHAHAAHAA! That woman is a complete clown and an amateur! When I get home, I will thank Lord Ganesh for showing me this most hilarious display of human idiocy in all of recorded Sri Lankan history! Tomarrow and the next, I will see far more! Oh my stars!"
Over come with hilarious laughter, Skanthavelu stumbles out of the alley. All of a sudden as if out of nowhere, Shanthi appears in front of Skanthavelu with one arm akimbo and having a very unamused look on her face.
Skanthavelu becomes sheepish and says, "Uhh.. vaNAkkam, ShAnthi.. eppadi irukkiRInga? Today Lord piLLaiyAr told me that you will give me a whole new perspective of Tamil women through some kind of experience over the next 3 days. HEH HEH... This must be the start. appuram parkkalAm!"
Shanti shouts at Skanthavelu, "YOU WAIT RIGHT THERE SKANTHAN! DON'T PRETEND I DID NOT HEAR WHAT YOU JUST SAID ABOUT ME AND I AM VERY CERTAIN LORD VENKADESAN HEARD YOU TOO! THE WHOLE TIME FROM WHEN
I CHASED THAT HOOLIGAN OUT OF THIS ALLEY UP UNTIL NOW I COULD HEAR YOU CALLING ME AN AMATEUR AND A CLOWN, STATING I DO NOT KNOW KARATE AND THAT MY PERFORMANCE WAS THE MOST HILAROIUS DISPLAY OF HUMAN IDIOCY IN ALL OF RECORDED SRI LANKAN HISTORY! SO, DON'T THINK I DID NOT HEAR YOU! AND IN RESPONSE TO WHAT YOU ASKED ME IN TAMIL,
NAAN MIGAVUM KOPAM!"
Skanthavelu stammers nervously, "Uhh.. When I said all those things, I meant that you still have lots to learn. You are doing well, but, you could do - hee hee- better...
Shanthi says menacingly, "You just sealed your fate. Your karmam has changed. You are going to wish you did not insult me.
Vasantha Reddy, Shanthis would be mugger and an Irishman by the name of Patrick O'Hara arrive to see Skanthavelu get creamed.
Skanthavelus emotion turns from nervous to scared
when he realizes what was about to happen to him.
Skanthavelu, now scared out of his veshti says, "Is this the experience which Lord piLLaiyAr told me about this morning? If it is, I'M GOING TO DIE!
YIKES!!!" :-((( Just then Shanthi lifts up a heavy trash can an runs at Skanthavelu.
Skanthavelu exclaims, "SHANTHI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT CAN? SHANTHI! SHANTHI! OH MAN, THIS IS GOING TO HURT! SHANTHI! PUT THE CAN DOWN, NOW! OH EN AMMA! I'm toast! AAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Skanthavelu makes his first attempt to get away, but, in an instant, Shanthi brings the can up and "SLAM!" brings the can down onto Skanthavelus head. Vasantha, the mugger and Patrick watch in shock as Shanthi assults Skanthavelu.
Vasantha exclaims, "Oohhh... That has GOTTA smart! I could feel that blow!" Patrick says, "That Tamil lass is going to give that lad a whole new meaning to the word 'canning'!"
The impact of the blow from Shanthi was so great that Skanthavelu was knocked off his feet amd into the dirt. Shanthi shouts angrily at Skanthavelu, "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE WORK OF AN AMATEUR OR A CLOWN?" Skanthavelu whimpers, "Please
Shanthi, no more... Spare me..."
Patrick says to himself, "This lad is going to need Gods help in this one!" Patrick then calls to Skanthavelu, "Get up, lad! Run away! Get out of this alley and don't look back!"
Skanthavelu gets up. Fear and shock were written all over the shocked Hindu mans face which was, in
turn, covered in dirt. Acknowledging to Patrick with a nod of his head, Skanthavelu makes his second attempt to get away from Shanthi who was madder than a wet rabbit at Skanthavelu.
But, before he could go any further, Shanthi grabs Skanthavelu and throws him against a fence.
Vasantha says to Patrick, "I will distract Shanthi. Once she is distracted, you go over, get Skanthavelu, and take him out of this alley and out of Shanthis sight. Got it?" Patrick replies,
"Aye, sir! Skanthavelu will thank us both!"
Vasantha calls over to Shanthi, "Oh Shanthi! Over here! You want to beat up somebody? Beat me up! I brought Skanthavelu here to begin with!"
Shanthi turns away from Skanthavelu who sits amidst a scattering of rubble and runs towards Vasantha. Skanthavelu sighs in relief that his angry Hindu attacker was being distracted.
Shanthi yells at Vasantha, "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE SAME BEATING? WHEN I AM DONE WITH SKANTHAVELU,
YOU ARE NEXT!" Vasantha thinks, "Eeks..."
Unknown to Shanthi, Patrick runs over to Skanthavelu who was all in a daze from Shanthi.
Patrick says, "Here lad. I am taking you out of here." Following Vasanthas instruction, Patrick takes Skanthavelu out of the alley and out of Shanthis sight. Patrick says, "Run away, Skanthavelu. Go to your house. Lock your doors!"
Skanthavelu turns and runs away. Patrick laughs after Skanthavelu, "AWAY! RUNAWAY! HA! HA! HA!"
In the alley, Shanthi turns to see that Skanthavelu is gone. Shanthi bellows, "SKANTHAN! GET BACK HERE! I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU!"
Patrick come back and says, "Skanthavelu is gone just as you instructed, Vasantha." Shanthi then realizes what just happened. :-(
She says to Vasantha, "Vasantha Reddy, you are going to wish you and Patrick stayed out of this."
Vasantha says nervously, "Well.. HEH HEH.. Skanthavelu looked pretty injured already. You sould not continue to hit a lion when it is already down. It just is not right."
Shanthi says, "Remember when you said it was your fault for bringing Skanthavelu here? As lucky Skanthavelu is that he escaped me beating him up, you are going to wish you didn't bring him here!" Vasantha says, "Oh, my stars! I am a dead man! YIKES!" Manwhile, back at his place, Skanthavelu is in his bedroom collecting himself of what just happened to him in the back alley with Shanthi. He then remembers a haunting song he heard many years ago in Canada.
"The thunder rolls and the lighting strikes,
Another love goes cold on a sleepless night.
As the storm blows on out of control,
Deep in her heart, the thunder rolls..."
Skanthavelu says, "Although, Shanthi is only my friend, the beating she gave me in the back alley reminds me of the chorus of that song! I am sore, have a lump the size of a watermelon and WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!"
At that moment, the phone rings. Skanthavelu says
to himself, "Please don't let it be Shanthi!"
Skanthavelu answer the phone, "Hello..."
Shanthis voice blasts through the receiver, "YOU ARE LUCKY I WAS DISTRACTED LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO ESCAPE!" Skanthavelu says, "Yeah, I didn't see it coming! You got me by suprise! I thought Hindu women were so calm and serene. I kinda forgot that Hindu women get pissed off too!"
Shanthi shouts, "I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET! I WILL LET YOU BE TODAY, BUT TOMARROW, YOU BETTER NOT SET FOOT OUTSIDE OF YOUR KUDISAI, OR YOU ARE A DEAD PERSON! ALSO, BEWARE OF SHANTHI!"
Shanthi then hangs up. Skanthavelu thinks to himself, "Oh my... I am sunk... I am ancient history! I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" At that moment, Skanthavelu remembered that he had a cellar in which he could hide. "That is what I will do! I will hide in my cellar! When Shanthi comes by tomarrow, she won't even know where I am! Clever!"
(Bad idea! 8-((() Later that evening, Skanthavelu goes out into his back yard taking some items with him. Just as he was opening his cellar door, Patrick comes around the bend and in a jolly voice says, "Hey, lad! What are ye doin' in yer cellar?" Skanthavelu says, "Oh! Hi, Pat! I am hiding from Shanthi!" Patrick says, "I don't blame you! That lass has quite a temper! If I had not taken you out of there, she could of killed you in a moment! I hope she don't find you and finish you off!" Skanthavelu says, "Well, good night, Pat! See you in the morning."
The next morning, Shanthi arrives at Skanthavelu place not knowing that Skanthavelu was hiding in his cellar. She was not angry anymore nor was she going to kill him. She wanted to tell him that she hopes that yesterdays incident taught him a lesson. Shanthi says, "Skanthan, where are you hiding? You can come out now. I can wait all day for you. You will come out some time."
She looked in Skanthavelus bedroom, in his pooja room, in the den, in every closet and no sign of Skanthavelu. Shanthi then remembered that there was one more place... His cellar! Shanthi says to herself, "He must be in his cellar. I will look there for him. And I dunno..." So Shanthi went around to the back of the house. When she got to the cellar door, she could see Patrick coming out of the cellar. Shanthi says, "Patrick, is Skanthavelu down in the cellar?" Patrick says, "Er.. Skanthavelu? In the cellar? Uh, yes he is. Uh.. I mean.. No he isn't! I went down to look for him too and no sign of him. Knowhatimean?"
Skanthavelu, who was sitting just under the cellar door, cracks the door open and listens to Patrick make a complete idiot of himself.
Shanthi notices the cellar door open and just as she was about to see what was opening the door, Patrick slams the door shut thus sending Skanthavelu falling down the stairs. At the same time Shanthi could hear the distinctive sound of "OW, OW, OW, OW!" and crashing. She pipes, "Skanthavelu IS down in that cellar isn't he?"
Patrick, realizing Shanthi found the hiding place says "Aye, he is in the cellar!" At that moment, Skanthavelu come up out of the cellar. His hair was a mess, he had bruises and scrapes from falling down the stairs of the cellar, and on top of that, injuries from the beating Shanthi gave him the day before. Shanthi says, "So Skanthan, what was it like hiding in your cellar."
Skanthavelu says, "Shanthi, please take me to the hospital. I am injured." And collapses on the ground. Later on that night, Skanthavelu and Shanthi are in his living room. Shanthi says, "I hope you learned a valuable lesson these last two days. I was very angry, but, I could of got alot angrier with you." Skanthavelu says, "I will never underestimate anyone again." Shanthi says, "That is good. If you want, I will give you a therapeutic massage for your injuries? In Canada, I was a massage therapist." Skanthavelu says, "Yes please. That would be great!" Shanthi says, "Okay, please lie on the couch and I will be right
back." Skanthavelu asks, "Where are you going?" Shanthi says, "I am going to get some vINai music to play during the massage. Music is played during massage therapy sessions." Within 30 seconds, Shanthi returns with a cassette tape. She pops the tape into a tape deck and as the music atarted playing, Shanthi proceded to give the massage to Skanthavelu. After an hour long massage, Skanthavelu felt much better. Shanthi asked Skanthavelu, "Did you like it?" Skanthavelu, now very sleepy from the massage said, "Yes." Shanthi then started to speak softly to Skanthavelu, "It is now time for you to go to sleep, Skanthan." Shanthi gave Skanthavelu a smile which reminded him of his guru, Sri Karunamayi Bhagavathi Sri Vijayshwari. Then, Skanthavelu drifted off into a deep sleep as if he were falling into a spell. Shanthi then whispers to Skanthavelu, "subam niththirai, anbuLLa skanthan. Karunamyi will guide you peacefully through the night."
Shanthi then quietly walks out of Skanthavelus place, leaving him in a deep sleep. As Skanthavelu lay asleep, Sri Karunamayi appeared to him in a dream. Karunamayi says, "I love you My dear son. You know Amma is always with you. I have been watching you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year for the last 5 years."
Sri Karunamayi then began to sing to Skanthavelu as a real mother will sing to her child.
"Sleep my child and peace attend thee
All through the night.
Guardian angels God will send thee
All through the night.
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vail in slumber steeping.
I my loving vigil keeping
All through the night.
Angels watching ever round thee
All through the night.
In thy slumbers they suround thee
All through the night.
They should of all fears disarm thee,
No foreboding shall alarm thee,
They will let no peril harm thee
All through the night...
Good night, my son. I will stay with you all through the night."
From that day forward, Skanthavelu lived happily ever after. The end.
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