Topic started by SriRangarajan (@ 203.199.224.98) on Fri May 31 20:45:13 .
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Get-up regimen
SriRangarajan
"When you get up in the morning is as important as what you get up with" Sura told Raghavan a few days ago, in a passing reference to whatever, in one of their weekly meetings. One of his original gems on life, it was delivered unintended, juxtaposed and completely out of context, while he was lecturing Raghavan animatedly on genetic engineering. A rare gem at that, Raghavan knew immediately, as the normal ones were always intended and never uttered out of context. What a profound observation of a simple aspect of life, Raghavan wondered. He at once became sad as such enlightening ideas never occurred to him on their own. Though he desperately wanted to know as to when and how Sura started his day, he had to wait for Sura to complete his lecture. In any case, Raghavan hardly understood anything on genes, especially those innumerable legal, ethical, social, cultural and moral implications of meddling with them and their unimaginable consequences.
Sura lighted his cigarette in approximately ten minutes thereafter, characteristically signalling two things, that his lecture was over subject only to questions from Raghavan and that he would take his leave then. Raghavan politely told him that he had no doubts on genetic engineering for the present and timidly asked him as to when and how started his day.
Sura pulled in his last puff, kept it inside and seemed lost in distant thoughts. "I start my day at around 7.00 AM, but never ever earlier than that. And I start my day with my favourite cigarette." He paused for a while, looking at the burning cigarette he was holding, as if it were the most precious thing in his life. "To fill up my desperately exasperating lungs with nicotine the first thing in the morning is what... ah! And if it's not there by my side, I would scream like a kangaroo" he said, smiling at Raghavan affectionately and left gracefully in a minute thereafter. Raghavan had not even seen a kangaroo till then, let alone hear it scream. It must be very weird he realised, as otherwise, Sura would have chosen a better-known animal instead for the example.
Raghavan did not know when and how he normally started his day. There was no specific regimen as each day was different from the other in regard to when and how he started it with. And he had not screamed even like himself in the morning for whatever. Radha smilingly said that she got up invariably at 4.30 AM, not later than that and chanted starter-slokas on her favourite Lord Narayana, to begin the day. She concurred with Sura and said it was something that was simply non-negotiable. No, she wouldn't scream, she said. As Raghavan was not satisfied with the answer, she thought for a while and said that she would probably scream within herself like a peacock, if she got upset on this issue. Raghavan had not heard a peacock scream either. He was perplexed as to why nobody screamed like; say a homely cat or a stray dog that he was familiar with.
That Raghavan was overtly obsessed with the issue was a gross understatement. He decided that it was time, he had his own, unique get-up regimen. There were four aspects to the regimen, in so far as he could fathom. First, there must be a time around which he should normally get up. Second, it should either be the earliest or the latest in time for his getting up. Third, he should do something immediately as he got up and fourth, if that were not so for whatever reason, he should scream unlike himself. With so many options around for each of the four variables, Raghavan realised that his choices were limitless. He was also totally at a loss to choose his from those options. Radha told him that she did not choose her get-up regimen, but if she were to, she would be equally at a loss. Why not ask others before selecting, she opined. Raghavan readily agreed.
His colleague in his office told him that he got up at 6.30 AM, not later than that and he got up always to the loud, fearsome and excoriating noise of a specially made water-pump that would also occasionally fill up water in their overhead tank. He was not sure of screaming and he genuinely felt sad about it. After a couple of days, he privately confided in Raghavan, eyes glittering with pride that he would scream like a penguin, if his household pump went out of action. Apparently, he was on leave for those two days, watched the discovery channel and Animal Kingdom alternatively but continuously before zeroing in on his type of scream. He thanked Raghavan for helping him identify his scream.
Raghavan's boss told him that he got up at 6.45 AM, not earlier than that and immediately on waking up, he would tightly close his eyes again, telling himself that he was really to wake up only thereafter and then he would wake up again, looking into the fully stretched palms of both his hands. If he couldn't do that, it meant that he had had a stroke during sleep and hence he would scream like a wild elephant in labour, he continued.
Raghavan's neighbour started his day at 5.00 AM in the morning, neither earlier nor later, always to the choicest of insults from his wife at an above-normal decibel level; and she would profusely abuse him continuously for 20 minutes or so before taking up her next household chore. Sincere and honest advices and suggestions as to how to go about the rest of the day, delivered deliberately in the form of abuses for its telling effect, all from a deeply caring and loving wife, Raghavan learnt later. As regards screaming, his neighbour was very sure. As he was so used to his wife's screams, if she were not screaming at him, he would scream at himself like she would scream at him. Raghavan neighbour's neighbours, four of them, got up at the same time to the same set of abuses, fortunately not on them. But, they were very simply choiceless when it came to screaming.
Many others said that they would get up at 5.30 AM, not earlier than that and immediately on waking up, they would go back to sleep again. As regards screaming though, there was no unanimity. Many did not even know that a scream of choice was mandatory.
Armed with adequate information, Raghavan sat down together with Radha, Bharu and Deepu in selecting his get-up regimen. It was unanimously decided that Raghavan would start his day at 5.30 AM in the morning and not earlier than that. Immediately upon waking up, he would find his favourite daily newspaper right on his lap. It would be fresh and unopened as Raghavan simply detested reading used ones, as the original folds would be missing. Since, their household did not have TV, Deepu summoned his friend, a budding mimicry specialist to help Raghavan pick up his scream. Raghavan immensely liked the screeching screams of squirrels. Deepu's friend was kind enough to patiently teach Raghavan in screaming like a squirrel. Put to practice from the day following, Raghavan was pleased with himself.
This anecdote must have ended here, but as it usually happened, it was not to be so. Precisely then, Raghavans' had to change their residence once again in line with their diligently followed family past-time of shifting residence once at least in two years. Changing residence itself was no big deal, but Raghavan had to scream like a squirrel in the morning for atleast five minutes continuously for four days In line with his get-up regimen, as he did not find his newspaper on his lap at the appointed time. Since, he sincerely believed that newspapers everywhere in Chennai would come early in the day and the delay in his case must have been only due to the fact that they were new to the street, he screamed as mandated and went about with life normally.
On the fifth day morning, Raghavan became impatient and asked Deepu to talk to the paperboy to ensure that his newspaper arrived at 5.30 AM in the morning without fail from the next day. It was not a paperboy but a paper-grandfather and all that Deepu got in return for his question was a scornful look from the old man who simply went away.
When Deepu contacted the newsagent on the issue immediately going over to his place that was close-by, the agent was full of apologies. Further, he expressed his absolute helplessness in either replacing the old man or in making the old man himself deliver the paper at 5.30 AM. In which case, Deepu informed the newsagent that their household would source their newspaper from somebody else, describing to him in detail the reason therefor, i.e., Raghavan's get-up regimen. To the shock of his life, Deepu heard the agent saying that he was not allowed that privilege in the street and the old man and nobody else but him would only deliver their newspapers. Surprisingly, the agent did not sound arrogant but rather apologetic when he made the last statement. Deepu was aghast.
Deepu confronted the old man the next day and told him in very clear terms that their household would source their newspapers from another vendor and his services were not required. The old man looked at Deepu and talked to him in a low but firm tone. "You are new to the street. I am not. I have been supplying daily newspapers to the households not only in this street, but also in the next four adjacent streets without break for the past forty years. I have seen a number of families come and go during this period. I have even seen the agency changing hands seven times. But I remain. These four streets are mine".
Deepu could say nothing, but he liked the old man's logic and in a sudden spurt, he started developing an innate liking for him. Deepu described to him in detail Raghavan's get-up regimen and the absolute necessity of having the newspaper at 5.30 AM sharp. The old man's response was precise. "In this street, you get metro water only at 6.00 AM. You get your newspapers only at 6.30 AM. There are things in life like these you simply can't change but take them as they come", the old man said rather smilingly. Emboldened by his smile, Deepu carefully asked him as to what would he do, if Deepu still went ahead with sourcing his paper from another agent. The old man was nonchalant in his reply. He would still supply the papers to them and they still would have to pay him. With that he left, not before patting Deepu on his back affectionately.
The old man's logic was appealing to all in Raghavan's household and the only alternative that they were left with was either to change the get-up time to 7.00 AM in the morning providing for a 15 minutes cushion or change the first action after get-up. Raghavan preferred the latter. As they were discussing standing at the veranda, a strange thing happened.
A set of five squirrels* were positioning themselves nearby, looking at Raghavan directly with extreme kindness. Signalling Bharu and Deepu to leave the scene immediately, Radha went inside, brought a few almonds for Raghavan to feed the squirrels. She was very careful in her movements, as she wanted to avoid even the mildest of commotions. Raghavan took a couple of steps towards the squirrels with the almonds in his hands. In a way that was amazing, they started befriending Raghavan voluntarily as if they knew him for ages. Initially they would come very near Raghavan, stop just a couple of feet away from him, look at him before backing out. Within the next few minutes, they came on to Raghavan rather playfully, took the almonds directly from his hands and started eating them with joy.
Raghavans' eyes were moist with tears. For they knew that from then on, Raghavan would get-up at 5.30 AM and not later than that and immediately rush to the veranda to be with his squirrel friends. A great way to start the day, Sura would concur later.
---------End--------------
*Raghavans' were blissfully unaware of the happenings at the squirrels' end. Those five squirrels that resided on a neem tree in front of Raghavan's new residence had emotions of togetherness flowing in abundance on hearing Raghavan speaking to them every morning during the previous four days continuously at the same time. They were deeply moved by what he was saying as Raghavan unknowingly was telling them in the squirrel language that he loved them very dearly. Though the squirrels had very poor opinion about human beings, Raghavan appeared quite different to them. In their dinner meeting on the previous night, they had unanimously decided to accord Raghavan an honorary membership in their family.
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