Topic started by K.Sudhakar(Srimangai) (@ sngiapat1.net.asiapac.agilent.com) on Thu Apr 8 10:30:29 EDT 2004.
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

ūĄö... ļÕōūÃĒôĀÐ Óūø ĶĀÚÅÐÅĻà ŦÅĻĮ ÂĄÕõ §ļðĀūĒøĻÄ. ÍÁėļ§ÅņÎõ - ļžĻÁ. ŦÐĶÅĄÕ ŦŊĻū ąýČĄø, þėļĄÄōÐō ūĄöÁĄũļŲėĖōūĄý ąōūĻÉ §ĀĄÃĄðžíļû. Creche'ļĮĒø ÅžôĀðž ĖÆóĻūļû ļūÚÅÐ §ļðžĄø þūÂõ ĀĒĻšÔõ. ÂĄũ þÃėļōÐĖÃĒÂÅũ? ūĄÂĄ? ĖÆóĻūÂĄ?
ĖüČõ ÂĄũ§Áø?
īÕūĄÂĒý ĀĄũĻÅÂĒÄĒÕóÐ ŦŊĻūĻ ŦÛĀÅĒėļ ŦĻÆėļĒ§Čý.
ŦýŌžý
‚ÁíĻļ
********************

ĶĀōū ÁÉõ
____________
ąøÄĄõ ŋýČĄļōūĄý þÕóūÐ..
ŋĄüĀūĄÂĒÃõ šõĀĮõ,
ŋļÃĒý ąøĻÄÂĒø ĶĀÃĒÂÅĢÎ,
ŦĘėļĘ ŦĶÁÃĒėļô ĀÂ―õ,
ĀČóÐĶļĄņ§ž þÕėĖõ ļ―Åý..
ąøÄĄõ ŋýČĄļōūĄý þÕóūÐ..

ĖÆóĻūļû ļĄôĀļōūĒø,
ãĘ ļūÅĒý ÁÚŌČõ
Áļý "ŦõÁĄ"ĶÅýÚ
ŦØÅÐ §ļðžÐ ÅĻÃ...

Responses:

• From: Roshan (@ 220.247.245.176) on: Thu Apr 8 11:04:04 EDT 2004
  
  šōūĒÂÁĄÉ ÅĄũōĻūļû!! Ā―ōÐėļĄļ§Å §ĀĄÃĄÎõ þÂóūĒÃūÉÁĄÉ ÅĄúėĻļÂĒø ūÅĒũėļ ÓĘÂĄū īýČĄļĒÅĒðžÐ ĖÆóĻūļû ļĄôĀļõ. þ§ū ÁýČōūĒø, ūý ãýÚ ÁĄūė ĖÆóĻūĻ §šũôĀūüĖ īÕ ŋøÄ ļĄôĀļõ þÕėĖÁĄ ąýÚ īÕ ūĄö ÅĒšĄÃĒōūĻūô ĀĄũōū§ĀĄÐ ÁÉõ ĀūČĒÂÐ. ąýÉ ĶšöÅÐ! ĶĀĄÕĮĄūĄÃōūĒ§Ä ĶĀĄÕûūĄý ūĄÃõ ąýÚ ŽļĒÅĒðž ŋĒĻÄÂĒø, þõÁĄūĒÃĒÂĄÉ ŦÅÄíļŲõ ūÅĒũėļ ÓĘÂĄū īýČĄļĒÅĒðžÐ. ÂĄĻà ĖüČõ ĶšĄøÅÐ ? :-(
  
  
• From: k.sudhakar(srimangai) (@ sngiapat1.net.asiapac.agilent.com) on: Thu Apr 8 13:08:51 EDT 2004
  
  "ĶĀĄÕĮĄūĄÃōūĒ§Ä ĶĀĄÕûūĄý ūĄÃõ ąýÚ ŽļĒÅĒðž ŋĒĻÄÂĒø. ŦÕĻÁÂĄÉ ÅÃĒļû. salutes to you Roshan!!
  
  
• From: ukw (@ 128.252.181.24) on: Thu Apr 8 14:10:53 EDT 2004
  
  ĖÆóĻūļû ļĄôĀļōūĒø,
  ãĘ ļūÅĒý ÁÚŌČõ
  Áļý "ŦõÁĄ"ĶÅýÚ
  ŦØÅÐ §ļðžÐ ÅĻÃ...
  
  I am sure some *unfortunate mothers those who are unable to give birth to a child* will think that *these mothers are insane* to complain about *the problems which can be solved with pleasure*, I believe!
  
  
• From: tiruttakkan (@ 202.56.220.46) on: Thu Apr 8 23:36:10 EDT 2004
  
  ÍūĄļũ,
  
  ĶÃĄõĀ ÁÉÍ þĮļĒ ąØūĒ þÕėļĒČūĄÄ ÁĄũėĖô §ĀĄžÄ.þĻū Ŋíļû ļÕōÐ ąýÚ ĶļĄûļĒ§Čý.ÓūĒ§ÂĄũ þøÄōūĒø ĶĀü§ČĄĻà ÅĒÎÅÐ ĀžíļĮĒø ÅĒøÄýļû ĶšöÔõ §ĀĄÐ ÅÂÄĒý ĩĻš ÅÂĒüĻČô ĀĒĻšÔõ .þÂėĖÉÕėĖ ĶÅüČĒ ĀĄũôĀÅũ ŦØÅūĒø.þÐ īÕ ļĄÄõ.ūÉĒ ÁÉĒū ÍūóūĒÃõ ąýĀĻūô ĶĀÃĒÂÅũļ§Į ÅĒÕõĀĒō ūÉĒÂĄļ þÕėļĒČĄũļû.ŦĻū īÕ ÅĄúėĻļÂĒý ŦõšÁĄļ ąÎōÐė ĶļĄûĮō ĶūĄžíļĒ ÅĒðžĄũļû.ĶĀņļû ŦĶÁÃĒėļ ŽĻšÂĒø §ĀĄöė ļ―ÅÉĄø ĶļĄÎĻÁėļĄĮĄĖõ ĶšöūĒļû ÅóūĄÖõ,ąūĒÖ§Á ŊÃĒĻÁÂĒøÄĄÁø ŋĢíļû ĶšĄøÖõ ŦĮŨėĖ ŋĢíļû ĶšĄøÖõ ÁðžōūĒø ÅĄØõ ĶĀņļû ŦÅūĒÔÚÅūĄļ ŋĄý ŋĒĻÉėļÅĒøĻÄ.þÐ §ÅņÎĶÁýČĄø þĻū ÅĒž §ÅņÎõ ąýĀÐ ĶūÃĒóÐūĄý ĶšöļĒČĄũļû.ļĒĶÄĒø ĖÆóĻūĻ ÅĒÎÅūüĖ ŦØõ þÉõ Ļž§ÉĄšũļŲžý ąņ―ôĀÎõ ŋĄû þ§ūĄ!(ĖÆóĻūļû ļĄôĀļíļû ŦÅũļĻĮ ŦÆ ēý ÅĒž §ÅņÎõ? ĀÄ þžíļĮĒø šĒÃĒėļ ĻÅėļĒČĄũļû. þýÛõ ļüÚō ūÕõ ēüĀÎļû ąôĀĘ §ÅņÎõ ąýÚ §ÂĄšĒėļÄĄõ).
  þýĶÉĄÕ ÅĒ„Âõ .ĖÆóĻūļĮĒý ĀĒÃĒŨ ūĄĻ ÁðÎõ ĀĄūĒôĀÐ §ĀĄÄô ĀÄũ ĶšĄøļĒČĄũļû.ūóĻūėĖ ąýÉ ŦøÅĄ šĄôĀĒÎÅÐ §ĀĄÄÅĄ?(§ūý ÜðĻžė ĖōūĒ ÅĒðÎ ÅĒð§žý .ĶļĄïš ŋĄĻĮėĖ ąôĀĘÔõ ŋĄý °ÃĒø þøĻÄ.)
  
  īýÚ ĶšĄøÄ §ÅņÎõ.ąūĄÅÐ ÅĒōūĒÂĄšÁĄÉ ļÕōūĒø ļÅĒĻūļû ŋýČĄļ ąØÐļĒČĢũļû.
  
  ūĒÕōūėļý
  
  
• From: Pavalamani Pragasam (@ 220.226.55.150) on: Fri Apr 9 01:08:25 EDT 2004
  
  "(§ūý ÜðĻžė ĖōūĒ ÅĒðÎ ÅĒð§žý .ĶļĄïš ŋĄĻĮėĖ ąôĀĘÔõ ŋĄý °ÃĒø þøĻÄ.) " - ŋĄý Ķšö ÅĒÕõĀĒÂĻū ĶšöÐ ÅĒðžÅÕėĖ ŋýČĒ!
  
  
• From: k.sudhakar(srimangai) (@ sngiapat1.net.asiapac.agilent.com) on: Fri Apr 9 03:15:04 EDT 2004
  
  UKW, I fully agree and appreciate the totally different dimension you are looking at this... If one has a small problem, some one else has a bigger problem to grapple with. But, the problem remains a problem for them.. There is an element of positivity exuding in your lines. Kudos for that! You have shown how an issue has to be approached . But, will this work all the time?
  
  TT,
  I would like to take three points you have said.
  1.Acceptance of Oldage homes by the elders- It is practical and pragmatic. It shows their adaptability to the situations. Given a "choice" would they be willing to live there or with a family( any family for that matter - where they get the love, care and respect.
  I think I have not made my point clear...It is NOT the American Dream of the parents or the girl. It was a poetic exaggeration to prove a point that luxuries bring the liabilities to the mothers. ĶĀņ―ĒÂø ÅĄūÁøÄ þÐ..Striking a balance with career and family is an individual's challenge. Many a ladies compromise their career. Not out of social compulsion alone.. but out of their inner calls for the children.
  2.,ąūĒÖ§Á ŊÃĒĻÁÂĒøÄĄÁø ŋĢíļû ĶšĄøÖõ ŦĮŨėĖ ŋĢíļû ĶšĄøÖõ ÁðžōūĒø ÅĄØõ ĶĀņļû ŦÅūĒÔÚÅūĄļ ŋĄý ŋĒĻÉėļÅĒøĻÄ.þÐ §ÅņÎĶÁýČĄø þĻū ÅĒž §ÅņÎõ ąýĀÐ ĶūÃĒóÐūĄý ĶšöļĒČĄũļû.
  
  pls look at the fact.. ąô§ĀĄÐ ĖÆóĻū §ÅņÎĶÁýĀūĒø ąōūĻÉ ĶĀņļû ĶūĮĒÅĄļ þÕėļĒČĄũļû? þóū §ÅĻÄėĖ ÓýŌ software project managementø þÕó§ūý.. brilliant women professionals had left the projects in the middle - not out of any other opportunity , just out of sheer social compulsions... ĶūÃĒóÐūĄý ĶšöļĒČĄũļû.. ĶūÃĒóÐ ÅĒðžĀĘÂĄø ÅÄĒ þÕėļĄÐ ąýČĒøĻħÂ?!
  3.The idea is not AGAINST CRECHES. Every one would agree that they are excellently buffering the Child - Mother separation. I and my wife had to leave the child in a creche . They had looked after him very well.. But, that does not mean that we can be absolved of our responsibilities.. neither it ensures that there is no feeling of guilt or remorse. ÅÄĒ þÕėļōūĄý ĶšöÔõ ŦýĀ§Ã.
  ĖÆóĻūļĮĒý ĀĒÃĒŨ ūĄĻ ÁðÎõ ĀĄūĒôĀÐ §ĀĄÄô ĀÄũ ĶšĄøļĒČĄũļû.ūóĻūėĖ ąýÉ ŦøÅĄ šĄôĀĒÎÅÐ §ĀĄÄÅĄ?
  ūĄÂĄļðÎõ, ūóĻūÂĄļðÎõ...ÅÄĒĶÂĄýÚūĄý. ŽņļŲėĖ ĶĀÕõĀĄÖõ express Ķšö ÅÃĄÐ ŦųÅĮŨūĄý.
  Geno ĶšĄýÉÐ §ĀĄø "ŦĘĀðžÅÛėĖūĄý ÅÄĒ ĶūÃĒÔõ"
  ÅĒōūĒÂĄšÁĄļ ąØū§ÅņÎĶÁýČĒøĻÄ. ŦÛĀÅíļû ÅĒōūĒÂĄšÁĄļ ēüĀÎļĒýČÉ.. ĶšĄøÄōĶūÃĒÂĄÁø ąØÐļĒ§Čý ŦųÅĮŨūĄý...!!!
  
  
• From: Roshan (@ 220.247.246.107) on: Fri Apr 9 06:02:32 EDT 2004
  
  Sudhakar,
  ŦÐ īýÚõ ąý ĶšĄóū ļüĀĻÉÂøÄ. īÕ šĒÉĒÁĄ ĀĄžÄĒý ÅÃĒļû ŦĻÅ. "ĖÎõĀõ īÕ ļūõĀõ ĀÄ Åņ―õ ĀÄ Åņ―õ " ąýÚ MSV ĀĄĘ ĀĄžø ŋĒĻÉÅĒø þøĻÄÂĄ? "þÕÅũ ŊĻÆōūĄøūĄý þóŋĄĮĒø ĀšĒ ūĢÕõ" ąýÚ ÅÕ§Á. Ŧóū ĀĄžøūĄý!
  
  
• From: Kathir (@ cache1-2.ruh.isu.net.sa) on: Fri Apr 9 14:11:51 EDT 2004
  
  þūĒø þýĶÉĄýÚõ ŊûĮÐ. ąūĒũÅĄūõ ŦøÄ. šĒíļôâÃĒÖõ, ŦĶÁÃĒėļĄÅĒÖõ ąōūĻɧ¥ ŋõ þĮõ ūíĻļÂũ ūōūõ ļ―ÅũÁĄÕžý ÅšĒėļ, ĶūĄžũóÐ Ā―ĒŌÃĒ Áļô§ĀÚ ūĻžĶÂÉė ļÕūĒ, ŦūĻɧ ūûĮĒô §ĀĄÎÅÐ ŦūÉĒÛõ ĶļĄÎĻÁ. ŦĻū ÅĒž, ŦųÅîšōūĒĻÉÔõ ÁĢČĒ, ūĄöĻÁÂĻžóÐ, ĶĀüÚ, ūý ĀýÓļė ļžĻÁÂĒý ļĄÃ―ÁĄļ ļĄôĀļōūĒø ĖÆóĻūĻ ÅĒðÎ ÅĒðÎ Ā―ĒŌÃĒÔõ ĀÄũ §ŋĄėĖ šĒČóūÐ ąÉŨõ ĶļĄûĮÄĄõ. ŦÕļĒø ŊûĮ ļĄôĀļōūĒø ÅĒðÎ ÅĒðÎ, þĻž§ÅĻĮÂĒø ĩĘ ÅóÐ ĀĄø ĶļĄÎōÐ ÅĒðÎ, ŦĻÃĖĻČÂĄļ ŊņÎ ÅĒðÎ Ā―ĒĻÂō ĶūĄžÃ ĩÎõ ĶĀņļéõ ŊņÎ.
  
  Ŋíļû ļÅĒĻūÂĒý ļĻžšĒ ÅÃĒ Ŧóūō ūĄöĻÁ Ŋ―ũŨėĖ ÁÃĒÂĄĻū ĶšÖōÐļĒČÐ ąý§Č ŋĒĻÉļĒ§§Čý. ąÉ§Å ĀĄÃĄðÎėļû.
  
  
• From: ukw (@ 128.252.181.232) on: Fri Apr 9 14:27:26 EDT 2004
  
  Mr. Sudhakar:
  
  U open up so much room for discussion from the your latest post. Yes, it is all our priorities and how we prioritize things for the 'benefit' of the our family as a whole. As you know everything has a price and u and ur wife and ur children will pay that for your decision. So, it is all balanced.
  
  BTW,
  
  * I and my wife had to leave the child in a creche*
  
  I don't think it is appropriate to use *had to* here, I think it should read *chose to* leave there for the over-all benefit of your family. Because you chose, u should not complain about the consequences, right? Of course u r not because you and your family will pay the price. When you pay for the consequences of your decision who am I to commment or criticise anything about your decision? :-)))))
  
  P.S: Recently in a 'fish-market', I was mentioning R that leaving children in a day-care is a very sensitive issue. I am glad you being a wonderful example here to support my remark to R :-)))
  
  
  
• From: K.Sudhakar(srimangai) (@ sngiapat1.net.asiapac.agilent.com) on: Sat Apr 10 02:28:22 EDT 2004
  
  Kathir,
  Thanks for your comments. You are right in saying that people grapple with the challenge and balance between work and family responsibilities. Mumbai is no different.. some of our secretaries are the best examples of this balancing act. Salutes to the indomitable spirit of these women who make everything possible! They do not buckle under pressure. They pay their price for this.. and I just empathize with them.
  UKW, I like the way you have chosen the words.. There is a fine line of division between "Had to " and "Chose to". I "had to " because we were expecting some help and were not prepared to leave our kid in a Western Indian Creche ( archaic intentions!!!). Once we left him there, we found how wonderful it was for him - he could socialize with other children, picked up Gujarati, Marathi and Hindi ( and also some abusive words in each language!). It has done more good to him as a true cosmopolitan individual. Only that the parental instincts had kept us guilty. That one cannot expiate or escape..
  I was just being sensitive to the momentary feeling of any mother who leaves the child in any creche.Any mother is a victim of her own possesive instinct of her child and she pays a price for that. The virtual pain of a father goes unnoticed many a times.(ŦøÅĄ §ĀĄÄ þÕėļĄÐ TT!!) am glad that the discussion allows people to share their views and emotions too...
  
  
• From: Roshan (@ 220.247.245.227) on: Sat Apr 10 03:57:48 EDT 2004
  
  Sudhakar,
  
  >>I was just being sensitive to the momentary feeling of any mother who leaves the child in any creche.Any mother is a victim of her own possesive instinct of her child and she pays a price for that. The virtual pain of a father goes unnoticed many a times.(ŦøÅĄ §ĀĄÄ þÕėļĄÐ TT!!) >>
  
  Nicely said Sudhakar!! Ŋíļû ļÕōÐėļû ŦÕĻÁ!
  
  ukw,
  that 'PS:' was very funny :-)))))))))))))))))))))
  
  

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