Topic started by seeker (@ 203-195-199-244.now-india.net.in) on Thu Dec 4 05:23:12 EST 2003.
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

Hello all,

First of all, I am sure, we all are responsible for acts, and decisions taken in our life. How much ever one seem to ask help from others, how he or she handles the situation, makes the situation worse or better.Nevertheless I do want ALL UR SUGGESTIONS to help me out in handling a very queer and distasteful situation in my life.

Let me not beat around the bush and come to the matter.

I am a married woman, with a happy family. Me and my husband are pretty much into religion and philosophical oriented things. But we do have a circle of friends, who are bindas, and we party a lot, with nice games and music around. we get along without gender bias, whether its man or woman, but knowing limits.


Sometime back, came a new family and joined us, the couple almost of our age.

They have some problems in coping up and adjusting in life. They are not sure if they would land up having divorce too. I have a good rappo with that woman, and with the man and so does my husband.

Now i can introduce this man as my husband's friend,i.e. but may be as acquaintance (NOT CLOSE FRIEND).

This guy, I am ashamed to say, is trying out tricks on me, in a very subtle way. Talkin and behaving in such a way, that I CANT POINT OUT HE IS BAD, but I know what he intends saying to me. Very clever way of talkign he does.

Though i tried to aviod him in gangs or when alone, he somehow catches me, when alone, and says THOUGH NOT EXPLICITLY FRANK THINGS, BUT THINGS IN SUBTLE DISGUISED WAY.

Any time party is there, he is around, grinning at me, and does not stop with comment that i look good or whatever. He goes to the extent of saying,

"Wish i was ur husband"
"U have a body and face of goddes, I wanna to do pooja" etc

I cant say more, as i am ashamed and terribly put off.

I am basically a very sober, and kind person, who cant hurt anyone on face. If i say this to my husband, I am sure the matter would be handled very differently, and I AM WORRIED THAT WILL MAKE THE SITUATION OF THE COUPLE WORSE, AS THEY ALREADY DONT GET ALONG WELL.

So I cant tell my husband, or that guy's wife.

Now I do tell this person,

"YOU CANT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT"
"THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO TALK TO ME"
etc

and run off from the situation.

But that dud head DUMBO dont seem to understand.

I am a very god fearing pious, and philosophical kind of person, who has great values in life.

I cant tell him straight on his face,

"YOU ARE MISBEHAVING"
because, he says things in subtle way....and if i say this, he may argue back saying

"THATS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SAY, WHY DO U ASSUME THINGS "

I am so worried, this is almost like sexual harassment with words.

How do i handle this?

I have decided within myself, any day he is gonna cross limits with me.... and say thigns in plain way than subtle way.

then I plan to say..

"I AM SORRY, I AM NOT THE KIND OF WOMAN U LOOK OUT FOR, PLEASE MIND UR WORDS"

The problem is , I am very kind and sober person, when it comes to abusing or scolding someone, I JUST CANT DO IT.

What are the ways to handle these situations.

Please dont post unkind words or funny messeges here, this is a genuine problem, and i thought nameless, faceless friends here would help me

HELP ME PLZ

distressed,
xyz

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: Seeker (@ 203-195-199-244.now-india.net.in) on: Sat Dec 13 12:42:36 EST 2003
  
  HEy ppl I request u, plz dont mess up this thread,
  
  If I have solved the prob, I shall come back and post here, leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
  
  and my thread at peace!
  
  THANKS
  
  thx..
  
  (So much for seeking genuine help!)
  
  I wonder if it would take too much of brain power to figure out, if someone wants anonymous name, IT MEANS SHE HASSSSSSSSSS A PROB, AND DOES NOT WANNA REVEAL HER OR HIS IDENTITY....
  
  not necessarily all are jobless here, sitting and posting FIBS and enjoying the reactions!
  
  HUHHH AND BIGGGG HUH
  
  
• From: Mirza Adeel (@ ) on: Thu Sep 2 02:31:33
  
  I am Very sad please solved my problem my hart is sad i donnt know why zare you me
  
  
• From: snehashish (@ 202.131.116.178) on: Fri Sep 3 08:09:07 EDT 2004
  
  dear xyz,
  basically i can see that you are in a mind boggling situation.As ican well understand your emotions and mentality.You are really affectionate to others and don't want to hurt others sentiments.But taking things quitely like this will not yeild good results and it may even worsen the situation intensively.I think you need to take your husband into confidence disclosing him every minute facts you faced and above all the kind of feeling you possess for the couple.I think he will be analytical enough to handle the situation.He will surely help you out.Wishing you a good luck.
  
  
• From: geno (@ 61.2.33.234) on: Sat Sep 4 13:10:14 EDT 2004
  
  >> If I have solved the prob, I shall come back and post here, leave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee >>
  
  Well! it has been like 9 months since this thread was opened - it seems...
  
  ...so our seeker has "solved" her problems?! or that isnt the case?!
  
  Jus curious!
  
  :=)
  
  
• From: Seeker (@ 203-195-202-195.now-india.net.in) on: Tue Sep 7 01:42:47 EDT 2004
  
  Well, The seeker is just avoiding the person, to a great extent. The guy seemed to have got the messege.
  For past nine months she has been subtly rude in her approach towards him.
  
  Seeker wont say the problem is solved, its just mitigated. Seeker is suprised how some men, even when
  answered back rudely or been ignored still have hopes of persisting.
  
  The problem is put off, cause the person is on foreign tour for past 3 months. It does not pose a problem any more, cause seeker and her family has slowly restricted their relationship with the guy's family.
  
  
• From: Sam (@ dslsouth221.244.247.61.touchtelindia.net) on: Mon Sep 13 10:01:28 EDT 2004
  
  Hello
  Do not worry,Just handover the situation to God or Goddess u believe in.U r bound to get result believe that God will make him shun or shut,it is nothing but your belief in God will prevail.An protection Aura will be there to save u.May god be with u
  
  

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