Topic started by Vijay (@ webport-cl4-cache5.ilford.mdip.bt.net) on Wed Mar 20 18:20:11 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

         What's it like for a woman to fall in love? The reason I'm asking is that I am writing a script for a film (okay, I don't really think my work will ever get made into a film, but it's fun to try). I want to portray the characters' emotions accurately. You see, most films I've watched don't ever make us feel involved in love stories, i.e. we hardly if ever experience the magic that is infatuation or "kaadhal". I guess I can only write about infatuations, but even an infatuation can be beautiful, and the majority of Indian film-makers (that includes several so-called "legends" such as K Balachander and Mani Rathnam) fail miserably at portraying what it's like. There are very few, if any, films that have shown the magic of being in love well enough (let me make one thing clear - in the context of this discussion "being in love" is the same as having an infatuation).

         I think I know what it's like for a man to fall in love with a woman. Here's what I think it's like: the woman becomes the centre of his life, i.e., his whole world seems to revolve around her; a little smile from her can seem to be the most beautiful thing in the world; he loses interest in everything but her, well, okay, not totally and completely, but somehow she seems to be the whole point of his life, and he's always thinking about her, so he can't fully concentrate on anything else if he feels that she doesn't - or will not - reciprocate his feelings; also on the other hand, he wishfully interprets any little thing she says or does as being a romantic signal to him; he loses interest in some of his favourite things, for example, his favourite item of food; and to be with her, to have her company, is pure bliss to him; actually waiting to meet her to see her, even if he knows that she knows nothing of his feelings for her, is an absolutely fantastic experience... I could go on and on, but in short, I think the best word perhaps to describe the feeling is magical. Importantly, the whole world seems a bright and cheerful place simply because of the woman he's in love with.

         Do women experience the same feelings as men do? I always think that women are not as crazy as us men and that they don't usually fall blindly into this thing called an "infatuation". But am I right? I'd like to hear what women have to say.

         Let me stress that through this exercise, I intend to achieve two things: learn enough about women's emotions to write a good "screenplay" and also to understand women in general.

         And would you, my fellow ForumHubbers, say that this would be an interesting subject to discuss?

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: Thinker (@ bangdp-33-10.mantraonline.com) on: Mon Apr 1 00:34:12
  
  
  Analyse yourself, ur needs, and what u want from ur better half. When u find a person most compatible with all ur goals n needs, combine it with practical planning and adaptability. Lots of compromise and adjustment is called for to make a marriage successful.
  
  We may or may not fall in love again, in those cases, use ur 6th sense and avoid physical intimacy. LOVE IS NOT ESSENTIALLY SEXUAL.
  
  
  
• From: Fridge (@ ndf-dial-196-30-126-98.mweb.co.za) on: Mon Apr 1 13:45:57
  
  Nisala
  Kaathali, Did not get that one.
  
  Skatie, pronouced Skuttie Like S Cut(with knife) Tee(golf), I think I confused you even more.
  
  "If we turn away from unsavoury truths, we compromise our efficiency to deal with our lives."
  Sometimes we also become too disillusioned by the unsavoury truths that we live in constant fear not to get there. What is scary is the thought that all I see as truth, may not be that in five years time.
  
  Thinker
  Compatabilty, You're on the right track, Hey you forgot to mention poetry, seen you there a lot. Just a joke
  
  
• From: Fridge (@ ndf-dial-196-30-126-98.mweb.co.za) on: Mon Apr 1 13:48:49
  
  Vinod
  
  In the above response, "If we turn away , Was supposes to be adressed to you.
  
  
• From: Vijay (@ webport-cl4-cache5.ilford.mdip.bt.net) on: Mon Apr 1 16:29:26
  
  Okay, I thought of the following story: The characters: Two engineers and a student trainee. Let's call our characters "V", "A" and "K". V and A are the two engineers, K is the studen trainee. A is a lady, the other two are men. A is half in love with V, but has no idea whether he reciprocates her feelings for him. V is in love with her too, but A's entirely unaware of that. Enter K. At first, he is struck by A's looks, but after a few months of knowing her, he learns more about her achievements, both in the field of engineering and in other things. His respect for her grows. He is in awe of her. It seems incredible to him how one person can have everything, well not materially, but intellectual abilities, looks, sport skills and everything. His relationship with her is like a teacher-student relationship despite the fact that they are on first-name terms. They don't talk to each other about anything other than engineering matters. Then one day, they go to a company-organised social event, where they mix a lot more freely. They talk about films, music, sport, everything. K feels great to be treated as an equal by A. He feels good about himself to be respected by someone he respects and looks up at. He falls in love with her. A few days later, he does a little self analysis of his thoughts and understands that it is just a simple infatuation he is experiencing, but he still finds it almst impossible to drive this infatuation out of his mind. He is intelligent enough to know that the feeling is an immature one, but it still feels so good he doesn't want to let go. And he is unaware of the feelings that A and V have for each other (of course, even they are unaware that they reciprocate each others' feelings). K still keeps dropping hints to A on his feelings. A feels flattered by all the attention she is getting from K, and starts wondering if K might be better than V. And also K is a good five years younger than her.
  Where should the story go next? What would girls do if they were really in A's situation? Is this story anywhere near believable up to this point?
  
  Let's say A=Aishwarya
  V=Vasanth
  K=Kumar
  
  
• From: Thinker (@ bangdp-35-155.mantraonline.com) on: Tue Apr 2 12:22:13
  
  
  
  vijay,
  
  "Is this story anywhere near believable up to this point? "
  
  yeah absolutely! Many of us have gone thro or going thro, these traingle, rectangle or pentagon shaped love relationships.
  
  It is sure sick and tragic for a lady to be unaware of the reciprocal interest of her lover.
  
  What should Aishwarya do? Well its entirely up to her. She should know what she wants.Just the special feeling ALONE is not sufficient for permananent relationship. First of all, Vasanth should try to hint his feelings. Always if not most of the time, a FEMALE, wants her lover, to express his feelings first. Not a custom though, but its unsaid rule, that if a lady expresses it first, she is too soft to hurt her ego, in case of rejection. Therefore VASANTH should be bold enough to express it.
  
  Kumar being 5 years younger or elder IS NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL. Age is not a problem when the intention of living together exists mutually between 2 individuals.
  
  Kumar is immature and he is also convinced that this is mere infatuation, which probably would not mature into love.
  
  In the absense of Vasanth expressing his love, (And kumar is not going to go beyond infatuation), I would say AISHWARYA can be cool and take both these as just friendship. Nothing more nothing less.
  
  Again, one cannot predict how feelings towards others changes. It always takes different dimensions with time. TIME IS THE ANSWER.
  
  As of now she can be open not only to both KUMAR AND VASANTH, and treat them as good friends, and keep herself free for any new acquaintance, until she is sure WHAT SHE WANTS IN LIFE.
  
  Who knows it may not necessarily be KUMAR OR VASANTH....She is probably yet to meet her Mr. Special who may be......KISHORE, SATISH, TOM, MOHAMEED .........keep guessing!!!)
  
  
  fridge,
  
  "Hey you forgot to mention poetry, seen you there a lot. "
  
  :) ...yeah, Though i am not great poet myself, I am a voracious reader of novels & poems.
  
  
  
• From: someone (@ 202.95.84.164) on: Tue Apr 2 21:01:18
  
  it's very sad for a woman to fall in love....
  i mean, guyz usually get the women they like.... but women hardly get the men they like....
  but ironically, it's the guyz who always make a big fuss about how gals ignore them n all.....
  
  
• From: Nisala (@ ac86b6ee.ipt.aol.com) on: Tue Apr 9 11:05:39
  
  fridge,
  
  "Kaathali, Did not get that one."
  
  I think 'kaathali' means the same as 'skatie.'
  
  
• From: donna (@ pc45-3.lib.rochester.edu) on: Fri Apr 12 08:47:08
  
  Vijay,
  Do check out the Synchronicity thread, there is an amazing true story there that would be good in a movie. The story about x and y.
  
  
• From: Tamil Babe (@ rn244-122.resnet.uoguelph.ca) on: Fri Apr 12 23:43:27
  
  fridge,
  "What makes one girl feel attracted to good teeth and money, while another feels attracted to stupid jokes and a poor guy"
  
  Or for some the attraction is Vince Carter ;)
  
  
  Talking about LOLs... I use it in the context of "laughs out loudly". ROTFLMAO = rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ off... that comes in handy sometimes. And the best of all, the sarcastic one: ROTFLMFAO - rolling on the floor laughing my ForUnlawfulCarnalKnowledge a$$ off!
  
  
  Ok got bored so I had to give some input in here.
  
  
• From: Nisala (@ ac9b1e2d.ipt.aol.com) on: Sat Apr 13 12:36:37
  
  TB,
  
  "ForUnlawfulCarnalKnowledge"
  
  Well well, looks like my other favorite kathaali is back from her vacation away from FH. How've you been?
  
  You will be overjoyed to hear that I am coming to Canada in June. Unfortunately, I'm going to Vancouver which is too far from Toronto/Guelph to walk and visit. I like Vancouver- it is a model US city (unlike Victoria that disgusting throwback to British colonialism). If I had to vote for the 'all-American' city it would be Vancouver definitely.
  
  
• From: Tester (@ medsc314.bham.ac.uk) on: Fri May 9 04:33:16
  
  Test response
  
  
• From: Piya (@ 213.78.73.11) on: Mon May 12 07:24:44 EDT 2003
  
  hi vijay,
  
  my name is piya. your story some where feels similar to me..had i been in aishwarya's place..then probablt the story would go in such a way where i make the first stept to tell V that i love him...and that i am 5 yrs elder to K ..so i am more mature to think wisely and knw the difference between love and infatuation...
  
  had i been in your place..i would have inroduced another character female..in the later part of the story to pair up with K..and without disturbing anything i would have maintained a good relationship / friendship with K...
  
  tell me what you think about this
  
  
• From: Tester (@ medsc321.bham.ac.uk) on: Mon Jun 14 15:12:28
  
  Test
  
  

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