Topic started by Ready recokner for girls (@ bangdp-34-97.mantraonline.com) on Sun Aug 11 04:55:55 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

Can all boys or men or guys give us (girls, ladies, women) just a clue of how to find out
if a man is in love with a woman?

Any specific signs? behaviours?

Talk plz from Indian scenario.

Would he avoid the girl? scared to meet her eyes?

plz share ur thoughts

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: Skanthavelu Nadarajah (@ edtntnt6-port-90.dial.telus.net) on: Thu Oct 24 08:04:19
  
  I know who RR is and I ain't tellin' hehe :))
  
  
• From: stg (@ 12.151.162.48) on: Sun Oct 27 07:49:12
  
  Heres an extract from an article of love which talks about the value system I mentioned above.
  
  ------
  Every person holds fundamental ideas about himself. Take Tom who thinks "It's important to make healthy, honest choices in my life. I want to feel proud of the way I'm leading my life." He values, not only the interesting goals he sets in life (e.g., adventures, career path, hobbies), but also, his own choice-making ability, his self-made character; he values himself. He feels admirable and desirable (as opposed to the con-artist or the person with low self-esteem). For Tom, it would be lonely going through life without friends or without a special woman who recognizes and values his virtues.
  
  If he were living among nagging, female con-artists, he would feel psychologically invisible. They would be unable and unwilling to admire the best in him -- they may envy or despise him for those very traits.
  
  But if Tom meets Julie and discovers that, not only is she attractive and not only does she has similar interests and values (e.g., skiing, hiking, dancing), but she shares the same virtues (e.g., honesty, thinking independently), then he will sexually desire her. Tom's sexual desire stems from his evaluation of himself (as worthy) and his evaluation of Julie (as an embodiment of his highest values in a woman). It is a desire for more than a friendship – to feel a mental and physical bond. Julie's admiration of his good qualities gives him an opportunity to view himself in an accurate, psychological mirror; this is psychological visibility. Her love and sexual desire are a recognition and a response to his (and her own) actual virtues. They both feel visible on psychological level – they profoundly admire each others virtues.
  
  Contrast this with an unhealthy sexual desire which comes from a different source. If a man has made himself into a con-artist, then he may desire a woman of good character to con himself. He may want her to help him build up a psychological façade, to pretend that he is better than he is. His erotic feelings may translate into "let's see if I can make her worship me and see how great I am." He has to engage in a double delusion -- deluding her about his true nature and deluding himself – faking a self-esteem he has not earned. He is dishonest and manipulative; he has no good virtues to celebrate. In his case, "sexual desire" is the desire to fake to himself and to his partner that he is better than he is. It does not stem from an accurate evaluation of his true character. He is trying to rig the psychological mirror to make himself look better than he is. Yet, such a mirror, to follow the metaphor, is only full of cracks.
  
  
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache6.is.co.za) on: Wed Oct 30 08:20:20
  
  stg
  
  very interesting stuff you posted.
  What about Opposites attract. Are they all false love in a way.
  I agree that loving someone who has similar interests to you make ,loving them easier, but what about men who have dominant mothers and will really only cope well in a marriage with dominant females.
  
  And there is the case of opposites attract.
  
  
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache6.is.co.za) on: Wed Oct 30 08:27:10
  
  Repeat above, err
  
  

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