Topic started by Rohit (@ 1cust251.tnt7.lax7.da.uu.net) on Sat Feb 22 03:33:48 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

my parents have completed a proposal for marriage for me, the girl lives in India, and I live in the US. The parents and family of the girl seemed happy, but told my parents they would let us know. It has been two months now and nothing. I have been communicating with the girl through email since and received plenty of email from her in friendly conversation, how do I know if she is really interested?

Responses:

• From: stg (@ 12.151.162.22) on: Sat Feb 22 04:34:18
  
  just pull up ur courage and ask her
  
  
• From: The truth (@ j11.tjm20.jaring.my) on: Sat Feb 22 10:14:41
  
  Stg, ur damn right..... todays females are the most difficult of their kind. They seems to be very good and nice to you but finally they may not want to marry u.
  
  Better go straight to the subject and solve the puzzle.
  
  Females loves to play puzzle and live in puzzle
  
  
• From: rohit (@ 1cust29.tnt7.lax7.da.uu.net) on: Sat Feb 22 13:27:49
  
  I kind of already asked her in a round about way, but she doesn't give an answer. The only answer is "if god has sent you for me I will know eventually" So where do I go from there, Do I just wait?
  
  Thanks for the response
  
  
• From: :) (@ d150-35-51.home.cgocable.net) on: Sat Feb 22 15:37:36
  
  rohit, may be she is shy to say yes, so you could probably ask your parents to approach hers through third parties.
  
  
• From: neo_morpheus (@ ppp-219.65.118.138.chn.vsnl.net.in) on: Sat Feb 22 16:21:46
  
  Dear Rohit,
  
  How badly do you wanna marry her?
  
  If you sincerely answer this question to yourselves (think hard before doing so!), you'd know what to do!.
  
  Afterall, marriage is a long-term commitment, and one is expected to decide certain things on his/her own (even if its goin to be 'arranged' by your parents).
  
  Marriage(i mean the way of getting married) may be either conventional/unconventional ( sometimes bizarre too!),but 'Married Life' for everyone is about trust, understanding, and common sense.
  
  I dont understand why if she thinks that 'God' had to decide if you are for you, and still herself 'decide' to send e-mails to you!.
  
  I mean either she might have politely declined to communicate with you without the explicit permission of her parents or until "god's decision pending"!
  
  I mean no offense here, but it's always better, in the matters of the heart, that you think clear from the beginning itself, or else life would become murky.
  
  Anyway all the best for you!
  
  
• From: mmc (@ netcache.spectranet.com) on: Sun Feb 23 11:20:12
  
  Rohit,
  
  Its most probably that the girl's family is in a dilemma.
  
  How much so ever you may like her, since this is an arranged marriage proposal, its better to wait or start looking for alternates.
  
  If the girl has felt the same amount of liking for you, by this time her parents mightve indicated their willingness.
  
  Most probably the house is divided and the girl is also somewhat confused.If the girl votes for you, by this time they wouldve come back to you.
  
  My sincere advice would be to move ahead and continue with your searches.In the meanwhile, there is every chance that they come back to you, if their calculations go in your favour(often arranged marriages are mere calculations and depends on Demand-Supply graph!).
  
  In an arranged marriage, if you try to force your way through, most probably there will be heart burnings later on.
  
  Having said this, i cant but feel sad for you(empathy!!).
  
  Anbudan,
  ~cholan~
  
  
• From: spaceman_spiff (@ 203.200.54.66) on: Sun Feb 23 13:28:23
  
  "if god has sent you for me" can be taken to be as good as "if roses were red", but "if wishes were horses" is not a bad simile either. I guess she's dilly dallying because she's not really decided. Or probably, she's still a parents' girl, and her parents haven't decided. Or the astrologer said blah blah so blah. Or something among n things that can make somebody undecided happened. Basically, some decision is yet pending on the proposal (I don't belive they'll hesitate so much to say no to somebody they haven't known until this proposal and stuff). So, now, question is, have you decided. If you have, then methinks you'll have to come clean on that, to the girl atleast. If you've not decided yourself, then I guess there's some more murky-water days to come - happy dilly dallying.
  
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache6.is.co.za) on: Mon Feb 24 05:20:37
  
  Rohit
  
  The way I understand arranged marriages is that the family gets to say yeah or nay and not the girl, somehow I this situation seems a bit different.
  
  Well given that you contact each other via e-mail and she knows that your intentions are for marriage then maybe ask her directly, ask what is the delay with the decision.
  
  
• From: Ravi (@ j6.tjm20.jaring.my) on: Wed Feb 26 09:48:42
  
  Rohit
  
  Relax .... i thing the astrological aspect may be a problem. In a arrange marriage this is a very important aspect ... I don't think that specially female side wait for long without answer.
  
  The best practise is ask the girl ... if she can't answer your question straight that forget about it and proceed.
  
  World is big ... There are many other to meet. God know want is due for u ....
  
  
• From: mmc (@ netcache.spectranet.com) on: Wed Feb 26 10:13:11
  
  fridge,
  
  //The way I understand arranged marriages is that the family gets to say yeah or nay and not the girl//
  
  This is coming down drastically nowadays .Atleast in educated families.
  
  Now if the girl wants to marry someone, the first question the parents ask is whether that fellow is a muslim or not.If she says no, then they give a big sigh of releif and then proceed on with the next question as to whether the boy is a Hindu.If answer comes in the positive side, then the next question is whether the boy is from a similar caste.Then after ascertaining that , they proceed on with the job or qualifications or family.
  
  In arranged marriages, nowadays every girl (almost..i should say not fully yet), is asked to state clearly as to whether she likes the boy or not.So dont see tamil movies and form opinion.The society is changing more than the tamil movie story line!! :)
  
  
• From: neo_morpheus (@ ppp-219.65.120.54.chn.vsnl.net.in) on: Wed Feb 26 14:13:00
  
  mmc,
  
  there u go again!
  
  I remember of a Kaviko Abdul Rehman's famous poem, which goes something like this...
  
  " Naanum neeyum Saiva PillaimAr
  Enakkum unakkum sondha oor vAsudEvanallUr
  uNN appAvum eNN appAvum mAman machAn!
  nAnum neeyum kAdhaithu thiruman seithu kolgirOm!! "
  
  
  The obvious irony in the content of the poem, and the poet's elite sarcasm is so sharp and witty that we actually see the hypocrisy of the whole 'soclially progressive' scenario here!
  
  
  But then, 'KaviKo' Abdul Rehman's always got it point blank everytime... There's this one other verse from his erudite satire:
  
  " nEruppin nAkku nirubitha karpai oru
  vaNnAnin nAkku azhukku Akkiyadhu! "
  
  I suppose everyone gets what and whom he means in that poem!
  
  
  
  
  
• From: neo_morpheus (@ ppp-219.65.120.54.chn.vsnl.net.in) on: Wed Feb 26 14:16:06
  
  Hi all,
  
  In that Abdul rehman's poen the last line has some typo's!
  
  it should red like this:
  
  
  " Naanum neeyum Saiva PillaimAr
  Enakkum unakkum sondha oor vAsudEvanallUr
  uNN appAvum eNN appAvum mAman machAn!
  nAnum neeyum kAdhalithu thirumanam seidhu kolgirOm!! "
  
  
  
  
  
  
• From: kan (@ aworklan004191.netvigator.com) on: Thu Feb 27 00:51:49
  
  Rohit,
  
  u shd never keep any thing pending esp this kind of things, the best thing to do is fire the question right away.if she answers in your favour than it's good, if not there's alot of fish in the sea.all this "there is only one girl's love in my heart (not refering to u but many other out there.)is baseless it useless remember this girl becaues she is out man. love is so special to waste. so think before u do anything.
  
  peace bros.
  
  
• From: sk (@ 203.145.183.220) on: Thu Feb 27 05:11:35
  
  Are you in love with the girl?
  
  It seems the girl was not interested in you or waiting for some more choices?.
  
  do something to attract her or else..
  
  
• From: King of all Failed Relationships (@ nwkea-http-1.sun.com) on: Thu Aug 12 21:42:45
  
  Eject! Eject!
  
  I've no idea what kind of woman she is, but EVERY
  woman who's interested in a man will let that man
  know when he expresses an interest in her.
  
  She's vaguely responding "Maybe someday..."
  
  Translation; "I'll keep you on the string in case
  nothing better comes along"
  
  Do both of yourselves a favor and move on.
  
  I know this to be true because I am;
  
  The King of All Failed Relationships.
  
  

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