Topic started by Alter ego (@ acbdfe0f.ipt.aol.com) on Wed Jul 23 16:54:39 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

With the utmost respect for Muslim culture, I have a query... Would it be common practice among Muslims for a woman to insist on a prospective bridegroom being better educated (i.e. more highly qualified) than themselves? For example, would a Muslim girl, born and brought up in the UK, who has studied Sociology at University, only marry a man who is better educated than herself, or could her parents be expected to marry her off to anyone from her hometown, even if he is less educated?

Responses:

• From: TamilNattan (@ cvg-65-27-251-73.cinci.rr.com) on: Wed Jul 23 17:21:16 EDT 2003
  
  Padippukkum, kalyaaNathukkum enna sammandham ?
  
  
• From: Roshan (@ 203.115.13.90) on: Wed Jul 23 23:26:00 EDT 2003
  
  Alter Ego,
  Your question sounds so ridiculous. Marriage has nothing to do with education be it among Muslims or any other communities. It is upto the family and the person concerned. But in any society family or the girl concern would prefer a guy who is more educated than the girl(mostly in arranged marriages). It is a very common criteria. I have seen many guys from different communities, who do not like to marry girls who are more educated than them.
  
  
  
  
  
• From: ~ (@ 219.92.212.52) on: Thu Jul 24 07:48:54 EDT 2003
  
  actually its not an important criteria as long as after getting married..the higher educated wife should not feel superior to her husbnad..and in the end make the husband suffer from inferiority complex..thats the reason...
  
  
• From: KS (@ 203.145.183.220) on: Thu Jul 24 08:21:33 EDT 2003
  
  """who has studied Sociology at University, """
  
  EngeyO Uthaikuthey?
  
  Machaan Enna Lovvaa?
  :):)
  
  
  
  
• From: Alter ego (@ acbab50c.ipt.aol.com) on: Thu Jul 24 08:32:36 EDT 2003
  
  How about this... if a Muslim girl born in Kashmir, but brought up in the UK, fairly Westernised (i.e. for example, her parents do not expect her to wear the Hijab or traditional scarf, and she doesn't), marries a man brought up in Kashmir, how do you think the marriage will be?
  
  KS, it's not love, it's concern for a friend.
  
  
• From: allah (@ proxify.com) on: Thu Jul 24 08:46:42 EDT 2003
  
  **could her parents be expected to marry her off to anyone from her hometown, even if he is less educated?**
  
  one - are u a moslem?
  
  two - if not, better stay away
  
  
  
  
• From: TamilNattan (@ cvg-65-27-251-73.cinci.rr.com) on: Thu Jul 24 08:48:40 EDT 2003
  
  De Alter !!!
  
  Edhaavadhu kurangu kaiyile poo maalaiyai kuduthudaadheengadaa ! Pichu pOttu puduvaanuva ! Padikkaatti kooda paravaayillai. Edhaavadhu bayangara vaadhiyaa irukka pORaan! Nalla kudumbamaannu paathu kudunga !
  
  
• From: Kajan (@ 24.156.114.180) on: Thu Jul 24 17:30:09 EDT 2003
  
  >I have seen many guys from different communities, who do not like to marry girls who are more educated than them>
  
  there r lot of woman who couldn't maary as they r well educated.
  
  meantime i have seen few men married well educated women
  
  
• From: Hinarahi (@ cache9-5.ruh.isu.net.sa) on: Wed Sep 24 07:21:00
  
  I AM A MUSLIM AND I MARRIED A MUSLIM GIRL THROUGH TELEPHONE WITH HER PARENTS AS THE WITNESS.IS THIS CONSIDERED TO BE A VALID MARRIAGE, AS I AM LIVING ABROAD I AM GOING TO HER PLACE VERY SOON TO PERFRM NIKKAH AND HAVE NIKKAH NAMA(IE REGISTERD MARRIAGE DOCUMENT)
  
  1) MY QUESTION IS IS THEAT TELPHONE MARRIAGE WE DID IS A VALID ONE.
  
  WASSALAM
  
  RKH
  
  
• From: joe (@ 194.205.123.20) on: Wed Oct 1 08:31:51 EDT 2003
  
  Actually the reality is that muslim communities in the UK are very narrow minded. The earning potential of a husband is more important than him being a good husband, a good father, a fine upstanding citizen. Muslim people in the UK are purely focused on three things...MONEY...MONEY.. and MONEY!!
  
  
• From: Priya (@ 202.9.166.24) on: Fri Oct 10 14:24:32 EDT 2003
  
  Alter Ego! To answer your question. I would say that the marriage of your friend and the guy in kashmir is a toss up, as is the case in any arranged marriage. There is always a possibility that he might be an open minded guy. But having seen my own muslim girlfriends marry off guys in India after having been raised outside the country, I must say that it will not be a pretty affair. Actually, it doesn't matter what religion they are. Guys in India who are brought up traditionally tend to have a complex about their brides. The result is trying to control them in their dressing, social conduct etc. Parents who raise their kids outside India should have enough sense to marry them off to people who are also raised outside the country to avoid these problems.
  
  
• From: Muhammad Uzair (@ proxy03.ait.ac.th) on: Mon Jun 14 12:12:50
  
  Dear Hinarahi,
  Asslam-o-Alaikum,
  I would like you to refer to the website http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=9829 where a person ahd asked this question from an imam and he told that such a nikkah would not be valid. Please visit the website for further clarification.
  
  
  
  To Alter Ego and Others,
  
  
  Hijab is a part of Muslim culture. It is a part of Islam. Anyone who disagrees with me, I would like him/her to go to any muslim scholar and place this question to him. To be modern does not meen to leave the principles of Islam aside. If we do that, we would be at a loss, especially on the day of Judgement. Please avoid this kind of discussion on this kind of forums and go to some real scholar and ask him questions with an open mind (thinking that what he says, if has sound logic based on Quran and Sunnah then you will follow it) so that we might not be mislead by each other. There is no need for advocating one point or other, any advocacy has to be done in the light of Quran and Sunnah. And those who want to advocate for any point, they should make sure that they know all the relevant verses and ahadith relating to the matter rather than only one or two narrations. I hope I did not disturb any one's feelings. If I have, I would like you to forgive me, but do give what I have said due consideration.
  
  Wassalam
  Uzair
  
  

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