Topic started by Hema (@ 209-23-60-146.ip.termserv.net) on Thu Feb 14 11:56:10 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

can marriages be done without dowry? This is a big question and shameful situation in our society. Rightnow we are looking for a groom for my sister, whoever comes asks for a big fat dowry? Why is it like this?

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: fridge (@ netcache6.is.co.za) on: Tue Feb 26 09:42:44
  
  If what 'dowry' states is true then why condemn him, If there are girls out there who fall for such nonsense there will be guys out there who manipulate the situation to their benefit.
  Dowry however sleazy he may seem to us is hapily married, The wife has a husband and a father for her child, and He has gained a home and finance to give them an easier life. The husband and wife benefited here.
  
  
• From: for_dowry (@ 203.124.235.115) on: Tue Feb 26 10:00:42
  
  Let us assume you are getting married without dowry. After say 23 years your daughter is ready for marriage you look out for guys who dont ask dowry. You can,t get worthy guys without dowry. Guys come to your daughter ask dowry. if you have money you can give dowry. if you dont have you cannot get a better guy as your son-in-law. suppose you are even then against dowry then if you are refusing to give dowry your daughter will remain unmarried in your house. no father want to see their daughter remain unmarried. That is the biggest sin. So best thing is get dowry educate your daughter and give some dowry to your son-in-law. All you want is she should be happy. So what you guys should understand here is get dowry and give dowry for your daughter.
  
  
• From: Tamil Babe (@ rn251-65.resnet.uoguelph.ca) on: Tue Feb 26 13:02:55
  
  fridge,
  
  "If what 'dowry' states is true then why condemn him, If there are girls out there who fall for such nonsense there will be guys out there who manipulate the situation to their benefit. "
  
  Fridge raises a good point. Some feminists should stop blaming the men for everything and instead look at what weak females do.
  
  
  for_dowry,
  
  "You can,t get worthy guys without dowry."
  
  What evidence or proof do you have to back your claim? There are plenty of WORTHY men in this world that do not request a dowry.
  
  
  "no father want to see their daughter remain unmarried. That is the biggest sin"
  
  Why is it a biggest sin for a daughter to remain unmarried? It's not the parents' job to provide a life partner to their daughter. Does the daughter want everything spoon-fed to her instead of her making decisions about her own life?
  
  
• From: Nisala (@ ac87c567.ipt.aol.com) on: Tue Feb 26 22:27:21
  
  "Guys come to your daughter ask dowry. if you have money you can give dowry. if you dont have you cannot get a better guy as your son-in-law."
  
  Hey dowry-boy, how about if we had the opposite: if the GUY's family had to pay dowry instead of the girl's? If the girl is really desirable, the result will be that the more financially secure guys will win the bride (though I would hope the guy's personality is also taken into consideration).
  
  By your logic, you suggest that only the undesirable girls would benefit from the dowry system, since the father literally has to pay someone to marry the girl. Thus, I could say that to keep such a system intact, girls of all types must be presented as extremely undesirable. What nonsense!!
  
  
• From: rohidas j mavale (@ ) on: Tue Jan 21 01:12:28
  
  i want a job out of india & i have no idia how i get job out of india & i do ITI TOOL& DIE MAKER can u help me
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• From: Thamilan (@ 12.151.162.25) on: Tue Jan 21 04:29:13
  
  
  
  " Hey dowry-boy, how about if we had the opposite: if the GUY's family had to pay dowry instead of the girl's? If the girl is really desirable, the result will be that the more financially secure guys will win the bride (though I would hope the guy's personality is also taken into consideration).
  
  By your logic, you suggest that only the undesirable girls would benefit from the dowry system, since the father literally has to pay someone to marry the girl. Thus, I could say that to keep such a system intact, girls of all types must be presented as extremely undesirable. What nonsense!!"
  
  Wowwww
  
  Nisala Iyya Has a Brain in this regard.
  
  I must agree with him.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• From: snowfire (@ ) on: Sun Aug 8 19:50:41
  
  From what I have personally observed Indian women whose family pays a dowry are "definately not" getting the "cream of the crop". Perhaps it is just my luck to witness one lazy, self-centered, witless, spineless mamas' boy after another. All Hindu men can't be so helpless...SO LAZY, and so greedy?!
  
  ATTENTION: Families and Women! The decent ones are free...stop paying for damaged goods, I mean... men!!
  
  
• From: nirosha (@ j3.stw20.jaring.my) on: Sun Aug 8 23:26:48 EDT 2004
  
  Dowries are gifts that parents give to their daughters as a going-away present from the birth home to their new homes. As such it is inappropriate for the men's family to be haggling for anything!
  
  Having said that, in this day and age where a wedding is meant to put a deep hole in one's pocket, it is also appropriate that both families talk it out in sharing the expenses for the wedding. This discussion should be cordial enough, from the guests list right up to living arrangements for the newly-weds.
  
  
• From: kamal (@ 61.95.227.65) on: Mon Aug 16 10:41:17 EDT 2004
  
  Usually dowry talk starts by parents and other old people.. y the groom agrees to the dowry?? becz he things the gal is not worth with out money!! Just think if there's a gal who is very good in all.. will any one talk about any constraint??
  
  This all happen only becz people don't let gals to come up and give priviliage for guys to study!! once this attitude change... every problem regarding GENDER will change
  
  
• From: manikam (@ 195.188.111.132) on: Thu Aug 19 06:17:11 EDT 2004
  
  do know you why people look down on indians?
  cos the intention on not changing themselves.
  asking dowry makes things easier.
  what u mean by getting married to a worhty guy and they u have pay dowry? that sound so stupid.
  what if u pay the dowry and the guy is a prat? so can u turn back ur time.
  why everyone has to get married to someone our parents see?
  will all that arranged marriage successful?
  its all depends on the individual, and have to be confidence in urself.
  indians will not change and its like a curse.
  so someway somehow we have to change cos getting/giving dowry doesn't proove anything.
  thats the reason the world sometimes laughs at us.
  :(
  
  
• From: Kamal (@ 61.95.227.65) on: Thu Aug 19 10:28:39 EDT 2004
  
  So far i know india is the one among the very very few nations that's against love marriage!! actually this is very big topic n a thread won't be enough if we start this issue!!
  
  
• From: manikam (@ 195.188.111.132) on: Fri Aug 20 06:18:23 EDT 2004
  
  it is true but its very difficult but something has to be done.
  its no point to talk or debate.
  i am just dissapointed.
  
  

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