Topic started by Shakthi (@ bangdp-34-109.mantraonline.com) on Fri Jun 28 08:16:15 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

Laughing is considered almost like an alternative therapy to cure most diseases. Its an answer to most of our health problems. Lets post healthy jokes and share our joy.

Any no of jokes per day is welcome. plz post decent jokes only.

********************************************

These are couplets taken from the rhymezone site where there's this competition for writing
the most romantic first line and most unromantic second..here are a few of the entries..

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

*****************************************

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away?
BOY : Were you away?

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night?
BOY : What time was it?

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..

CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...

1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple?

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?


Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something, It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

*****************************************

Come on ppl! Post ur jokes. Lets laugh worries away!

sincerely,
shakthi.

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: hyderabadi (@ 203.197.81.185) on: Tue Aug 31 06:06:13 EDT 2004
  
  An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking beer. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.
  
  He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
  
  Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.
  
  So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up.
  
  This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
  
  He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
  
  "How did you know?" he asks.
  
  "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
  
  
• From: hyderabadi (@ 203.197.81.185) on: Tue Aug 31 06:07:34 EDT 2004
  
  An angel appears at a priests meeting and tells their leader that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
  
  Without hesitating, the leader selects infinite wisdom.
  
  "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
  
  Now, all heads turn toward the leader, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
  
  One of the preists whispers, "Say something."
  
  The leader sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
  
  
• From: Hyderabadi (@ 203.197.81.185) on: Tue Aug 31 06:22:34 EDT 2004
  
  A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:
  
  Dear Wife:
  You must realize you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife. I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that, by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
  Your Husband
  
  When he arrived at the hotel, a faxed letter waited for him:
  
  Dear Husband:
  You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.
  Your Wife
  
  
• From: hyderabadi (@ 203.197.81.185) on: Tue Aug 31 06:33:01 EDT 2004
  
  "Doctor, I think my son has gonorrhea," Santa told his urologist on the phone. "The only woman he's scre**wed is our maid."
  
  "Ok, don't be hard on him. He's just a kid," the doctor soothed. "Get him in here right away and I'll take care of him."
  
  "But, Doctor. I've been scre**wing the maid too and I've got the same symptoms he has."
  
  "Then you come in with him and I'll fix you both up." Replied the doctor.
  
  "Well," Santa admitted, "I think my wife now has it too."
  
  "Son of a bitch!" the doctor roared. "That means we've all got it!"
  
  
• From: hyderabadi (@ 203.197.81.185) on: Tue Aug 31 06:34:09 EDT 2004
  
  Banta and Preeto got married and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, but with the lights off.
  
  Morning came, Banta went to the bathroom but found no towel when he emerged from the shower.
  
  He asked Preeto to bring one from the bedroom. When she opened the door, she saw Banta's naked body for the first time. Her eyes went up and down and, about midway, they stopped and stared.
  
  She asked shyly, "What's that?" pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
  
  Banta, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night."
  
  And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
  
  
• From: Shakthi (@ 203-195-202-195.now-india.net.in) on: Tue Sep 7 01:47:20 EDT 2004
  
  A store called Husband Mart that sells husbands has just opened. A woman can go there and choose a husband from among many men. The store consists of 6 floors. As you open the door to any floor you can choose a man from that floor or choose to go up to the next floor.
  
  But you cannot go back down to a previous floor, except to exit the building.
  
  So a woman goes to Husband Mart to find a husband.
  
  On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.
  
  The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.
  
  The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" And up she goes again.
  
  
  
• From: Shakthi (@ 203-195-202-195.now-india.net.in) on: Tue Sep 7 01:47:49 EDT 2004
  
  (contd)
  
  The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!"
  
  And again she heads up another flight.
  
  The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
  
  The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day!
  
  
• From: gurvinder (@ 61.0.196.226) on: Thu Sep 16 12:05:30 EDT 2004
  
  Teacher: "Dharti Gol hai ya Chapti"
  student: Sir, Kapti
  
  
• From: Suresh (@ ) on: Tue Oct 5 02:34:32
  
  What is oposite to Area?
  
  Ans : Iranguyaa
  
  
• From: Hyderabadi (@ 203.197.81.185) on: Wed Oct 6 01:37:22 EDT 2004
  
  Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting and
  wanted to go out and party. He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a
  club & pick up some young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look
  after him. A little disappointed, Superman "SMS" Spiderman to see if he
  fancied a few beers but Spiderman said he had a date with Catwoman.
  
  As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see
  if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on
  the bed with her legs open and her eyes closed. Superman thought to
  himself, "So exotic, should I or shouldn't I ...wait ...I'm faster than a
  speeding bullet! I can be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what
  happened." So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flies
  off happily.
  
  Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said, "What is going on? Did you
  hear anything ...?" Invisible-Man replied, "No! But....... my A**SS hurts
  like hell!"
  
  

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