Topic started by Ellen (@ c-66-177-115-58.se.client2.attbi.com) on Tue Apr 22 13:13:11 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

How do these young people get married? I don't get it. Hey, I sure am not ready and some of my friends at work got married when they were 21, 20, etc and they are my age. I just can't imagine having 2 kids by now. I'm thinking they either must have had some super parents as role models, they weren't really contemplating on it, or they are really nice people who love eachother and can't wait anymore. I've got to hand it to them...they work so hard with kids at home.



For almost everything in life, we can prepare and then take a test and pass, giving us permit to drive, certify in programming, degree in designing, engineering, medicine, law, etc, etc, etc.

But for family life, marriage,having kids, society doesn't seem to emphasize preparation.

Responses:

• Old responses
  
• From: Ellen (@ c-66-177-115-58.se.client2.attbi.com) on: Wed Apr 30 12:28:34 EDT 2003
  
  I am happy for the extra time as well, though societal views on women are different! (I will come to a point where the need for a more complete self-knowledge and goal accomplishments exceeds my need to appear normal). :) I totally agree with you on getting some ambitions transcribed into reality, under your belt. The reason why you don't see it happening soon is... ? It may be partly shared.
  
  
  Me too, I want a commitment with conviction. And i think I can only have that when I am mature emotionally and have certain securities taken care of.
  
  What will you do with your life-long male sex drive if you wait until ....45? (Just asking, refrain or skirt the issue if too personal).
  
  
• From: Jez (@ cache-loh-af03.proxy.aol.com) on: Wed Apr 30 13:15:37 EDT 2003
  
  :)
  
  It's long-life; whether by choice or by circumstance (pick a day) I usually keep it in storage (the drive). Think of this as semi-skirting UHT.
  
  
• From: TamilNattan (@ cvg-65-27-251-73.cinci.rr.com) on: Wed Apr 30 13:54:33 EDT 2003
  
  >> I usually keep it in storage <<
  I think in these places they also set the temperature to -300 degrees.
  
  
• From: Jez (@ acbb0754.ipt.aol.com) on: Wed Apr 30 14:17:09 EDT 2003
  
  TamilNattan,
  
  Pleased to meet you. What else can u do?
  
  
• From: TamilNattan (@ cvg-65-27-251-73.cinci.rr.com) on: Wed Apr 30 16:09:25 EDT 2003
  
  Pleased to meet you.
  
  >> What else can u do? <<
  Let them swim?
  
  
• From: Jez (@ cache-loh-af03.proxy.aol.com) on: Wed Apr 30 19:50:08 EDT 2003
  
  :) Swim in yourself mate
  
  
• From: Ellen (@ c-66-177-115-58.se.client2.attbi.com) on: Thu May 1 19:55:53 EDT 2003
  
  Can someone make a case for being single?
  
  
• From: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrammmmmmmmmmm (@ 213.59.70.30) on: Sun May 4 05:09:07 EDT 2003
  
  ellen.........this discussion would have better hold the title ....Is there better way to prepare to get naked secretly and to do it??
  Isnt it looks so abominable,disgusting,shame,dirty,of course pleasurable,palpitating,little fear and anxious!!!??????????
  
  
• From: Ellen (@ c-66-177-115-58.se.client2.attbi.com) on: Sun May 4 07:30:48 EDT 2003
  
  You know what, I think you are cwayzy. :) Is that all you think marriage is about? Also, do you plan on marriage, as your views have a strange understanding!
  
  
  
• From: Jez (@ cache-loh-af03.proxy.aol.com) on: Sun May 4 11:07:13 EDT 2003
  
  I made a case for being single and then deleted it - because single is universally the starting point; clearly happy singles are better off than an unloving couple, and happy marriage is better than sheer loneliness.
  
  
• From: Jez (@ cache-loh-af03.proxy.aol.com) on: Sun May 4 11:11:09 EDT 2003
  
  Ram's kind of right, especially in cultures where premarital sex is equated with adultery, cheating on your true partner. It's an extreme standoff - strong views on marriage vs. sexual liberation.
  
  
• From: Ellen (@ c-66-177-115-58.se.client2.attbi.com) on: Sun May 4 12:07:25 EDT 2003
  
  Jez,
  
  I am sure I didn't miss much....heheh...
  No, actually, I would have appreciated reading your case for singleness.
  
  I am unsure if Ram (Ram, if you're listening, you may clarify, if you want) has such distored personal views because he is against most of societal restrictions on sex. I don't know exactly where he is coming from.
  
  
  >>cultures where premarital sex is equated with adultery, cheating on your true partner.
  
  
  Surely having been raised Christian and in this Judeo-christian society in the US, this is true. However, I think when you think about it, I don't understand the logic behind it. I don't have a particular personal stand on the rightfulness or wrongfulness of premarital sex, because I think many of societal institutions, including marriage, are social conventions. And being "norms" and not necessarily having some objective truth... its not like some deity mandated no premarital sex. I don't know what to think.. Actually, since I know you are coming from an Agnostic side, I would appreciate your view on this. So my general question is, what is one to do with social conventions, as they are not in fact mandated by God or some higher power...is one morally required to follow such conventions? MOrality, i understand, is a social convention, but when it does not necessarily harm other... I hope I am clear... all I need is a philosophical answer with a practical grounding and conclusion.
  
  
  >>t's an extreme standoff - strong views on marriage vs. sexual liberation.
  
  But Jez, marriage is not only about sex, as much as non-marriage is not about sexual liberation, either..especially in light of self-actualization and the full breadth of human capacities and fulfillments.
  
  Can you offer some more personal views on marriage? Why you will allow yourself so much time from here until then (age 45), especially?
  
  
  
  
  
  
• From: piya (@ 213.78.73.11) on: Mon May 12 07:16:00 EDT 2003
  
  can any one define self actualisation..
  
  
• From: Jez (@ cache-loh-af03.proxy.aol.com) on: Tue May 13 14:20:34 EDT 2003
  
  The term can be used quite loosely. Strictly it means developing ways to meet needs, so your needs change to fit the circumstance and become idiosyncratic rather than universal; progress towards goals. I don't have a referance handy but one respected, non-definitive, hierarchy of needs was set out by Abraham Maslow. I'm a bit sceptical of this type of table but it makes some sense, eg eating more important than socialising.
  
  
• From: Neck (@ ) on: Sat Jul 5 16:49:32
  
  Fraudster
  
  
• From: jog (@ 203.200.149.134) on: Wed Jul 9 11:34:55 EDT 2003
  
  I'd like to know the answer too :)
  I guess everyone has this shall-I-say-fear of committing oneself to a lifelong relationship with another! In India where arranged marriages
  are the norm, this feeling is more!
  
  

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