What a shame!

[app_engine]

Well, we're not talking about people who live in the brink of the society (whether in TN or anywhere, drug addicts / criminals etc). Such cases should not be considered when we talk about a graduate girl's parents recovering their daughter unconscious on the eve of voyage to Canada

We're only talking about families -including the single parent ones, who work hard to make a living.

[app_engine]

To put it more clear, those african americans / hispanics whom I associate with here in Detroit - none of them are college grads or in the software industry Most average $10-15 an hour.

[app_engine]

Another point, among americans in general, I see a lot more concern for children than spouses

People change spouses so many times during their lifetime that they can have children / step children from multiple marriages / visitation rights this that etc.

Still, they try to take care, till the children are on their own.

Recently, a friend's step daughter came to live with him - who is in her 30's - divorced, lost her home, pregnant. This is not unusual among african americans in the Detroit area as I've seen many cases of grown-ups living with parents.

I'm often ashamed of the "they-don't-care-about-kids" opinion that I formed wrongly during my 3 month visit to California in 95-96 (which I've foolishly also shared with my associates in India)

வழிப்போக்கனாக இல்லாமல், உடன் வாழ்ந்து பார்த்தால் தெரியும் சித்திரம் அதிகத்தெளிவானது.

[app_engine]

At least 10% (should be more) of a-a families in Detroit area are single-parent type, mostly the woman (men have left, got killed, in jail etc).

Not highly educated, most do menial to ordinary jobs.

Most have 2 or more children.

While we hear about child-abuse-lack-of-care etc on and off on news, such are really really a small, miniscule percentage. Since people away from such people only get to see such newscast, they believe "most" people are like that. (Well, yes, I'm also wondering the same way about TN based on a few dinathanthi news that could be extreme cases).

Only those who live and actively move around (outgoing / interactive etc) with any group of people / society can form a reasonably correct opinion

[thamiz]

I find most of the AA men are irresponsible even today. Divorced single-mother is OK. Single mothers bcos of Teen pregnancy and having children without marriage are very common in that community. Lot of times they are anti-abortion believers too!

[thamiz]

Another point, among americans in general, I see a lot more concern for children than spouses

People change spouses so many times during their lifetime that they can have children / step children from multiple marriages / visitation rights this that etc.

Still, they try to take care, till the children are on their own.

Recently, a friend's step daughter came to live with him - who is in her 30's - divorced, lost her home, pregnant. This is not unusual among african americans in the Detroit area as I've seen many cases of grown-ups living with parents.

I'm often ashamed of the "they-don't-care-about-kids" opinion that I formed wrongly during my 3 month visit to California in 95-96 (which I've foolishly also shared with my associates in India)

வழிப்போக்கனாக இல்லாமல், உடன் வாழ்ந்து பார்த்தால் தெரியும் சித்திரம் அதிகத்தெளிவானது.

I am not saying everybody is like that. Look at even Obama! He was brought up only by his mom!

[app_engine]

I find most of the AA men are irresponsible even today. Divorced single-mother is OK. Single mothers bcos of Teen pregnancy and having children without marriage are very common in that community. Lot of times they are anti-abortion believers too!

Sadly, it is true. However, you may notice that the "available" parent still cares for that child and tries to support within whatever little means she has. (Tries to get whatever gov help that can be arranged etc).

I know of a lady who had three children each with a different last name (all-without-marriage) but your should see how she tries to protect her children! The first one, a girl, recently got married and the other two are now grown-ups living with the mom and the mother spends almost all her non-working time for them!

[pavalamani pragasam]

Our daughter living in the US for the past few months told me the other day about the extreme priority given to children there and how strictly they are safegaurded. She added jokingly the advantage of continuing to talk in Tamil unlike many natives who switch over to English even to converse among themselves is she can freely admonish her very mischievous 2nd son,'veettukku vaa, unakku nalla veLu irukku!' without fear of herself being put behind the bars for cruelty against a child!

[Surya]

The only conservativeness we still have there is that "arranged marriage" and "matrimony". The most big-mouthed liberal person in India who supports premarital sex and extramarital affairs will also settle for an arranged marriage -dumping the one with whom he/she slept with!

And will advocate for hours and hours for indian culture a few years later.

So there actually are no conservatives or liberals in india....is that what ur saying?

Yeah, they are liberal because they want to have sex before marriage But they are conservative too because they wont mind dumping the person with whom they slept with and doing an arranged marriage for satisfying their parents!

I'm not sure u know what "Liberal" or "Conservative" Actually Means....

[Surya]

I find most of the AA men are irresponsible even today. Divorced single-mother is OK. Single mothers bcos of Teen pregnancy and having children without marriage are very common in that community. Lot of times they are anti-abortion believers too!

Oppression has a Lasting Effect. Eg: If Generation #1 is Oppressed, the effects of that will last until Generation #4 in one way or the other. That's how Oppression works. Even though there isn't any Visible Oppression of the AA Man, the effects of it have lasted so long. When families have a history of Criminal Activity, it's most likely to continue to the next generation. Kids Imitate very well...

The Criminal Life was forced upon these people due to several centuries of oppression, and those Criminal Activities have been kept up until now. Same thing goes for things like Drug Use and Alcoholism.

And this is a Vicious Cycle because of so many things. For Eg: The schools which have a predominantly black population get worse and worse every year because of lack of Funding. The Govt increases funding to schools which prove themselves, so Rocklin High (The HS I went to) gets a new Swimming Pool, Tennis Courts, Broadband Internet, and 4 ADDITIONAL Computers to every classroom.

Where as Richmond High (Which had a majority of Blacks and Hispanics) lost it's Library due to Govt Cuts, because of lack of performance or something! Taking the Library away further kills the chances of any improvement. Also Rocklin High had the latest editions of textbooks, Richmond was still usuing the textbooks from the Mid Nineties. (I graduated in 06, so it's a huge time gap.)

Some (and the numbers are increasing) are strong enough to fight against all of this and to live a good life, and hopefully send their kids to a school like Rocklin High, but most just go with the flow, and let their environment mold their impressionable minds at a young age.

Just To Be Clear: I'm not saying that the American Govt is systematically Destroying chances of improvement of blacks and hispanics on lines of racial hatred. Generally Schools that prove more Academic Worth, get more funding as an encouragement. That's what I was talking abt.