Arranged Marriage OUTDATED.?.. Love-Marriage BEST.??

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Topic started by Sudhaama on Sun May 27 0:07:25 2007. [Full View]

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Dear Friends,

POLL - OPTIONS Description :--

(1) LOVE MARRIAGE ignoring the Parents :-- Choice and Decision by the Lovers independantly... irrespective of both sides Parrents' Wishes - Even if unconsented by the Parents, IGNORING their advice and Objections... getting Married by Lovers' exclusive decision only.

(2) LOVE MARRIAGE with the consent of Parents :-- After taking initial decision independantly by the lovers, getting the Consent of both sides Parents by any means of Persuasion, and then getting Married.

(3) ARRANGED MARRIAGE by the Loving Parents :-- This does not mean the Age-old method of joint-decision by both sides Parents only.. at the tender age of the Couple before adolescence... and getting them Married by means of exclusive decision by the Parents.

But the Spadework is performed by the Loving Parrents. Various options of the proposals are searched for by them.. who function as the Secretaries for the couple, and on the youngsters behalf... selection is made by the Couple on the recommendation and advice of the Parents...

Finally decided jointly by the Parents and the Couple.

Here the persuasion is from the Parents to their Son/ Daughter... whose concurrence is the most important...

...although unanimously decided by the Parents and the Couple.

In our present days.. which is the Best?...Arranged or Love Marriage?... Why?

By Your experience...SEEN AND HEARD... how many Love-Marriages are Successful.. and

....How many NOT?...Why.?... What were the PRACTICAL problems.. comparatively?

How many Arranged Marriages had failed... or had lot more problems.?.. What sort of problems?

What is Your Advice to the present day Youngsters on the matter?

Shall we discuss?
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Poll
Arranged Marriage Or Love- Marriage: Which is Best?
LOVE-MARRIAGE ignoring Parrents' Wishes:Best [ 4 ]
LOVE MARRIAGE with Parents' Consent: Best [ 34 ]
Arranged Marriage by Loving Parents: Best. [ 6 ]

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Responses:

Full Thread

From: kid-glove on Thu Sep 17 7:20:49 2009.

[Full View]

Plum wrote:

P_R wrote:

Roshan wrote:

village, town etc choose a partner for you.

I read that there was a reality show recently some swayamvar? Did they have a voting process in that? As in, one public choice SMS winner and one judges' choice?

WTH? Is this true?

From: Shakthiprabha on Thu Sep 17 7:31:35 2009. [Full View]

I remember seeing one such show in zee tv if I remember right. IT was called "swayamvar 2000" or something . It didn't go berserk to the extent that public chooses for the bride, but , the bride herself would make the choice. She chose her partner (out of 5 or 6 or howmuchever available) by the method of questioning and eliminating. She would eliminate one person in every round and finally it boils down to 1 or 2 until she decides upon which one is bakra .

The prog didn't last long and I still wonder if the decisions made remain valid for real marriage.
From: kid-glove on Thu Sep 17 7:34:38 2009. [Full View]

Yeah okay. That's better. As with most Northie shows, It's stolen from a western equivalent where the girl picks the person to date. Some concept eh!
From: Shakthiprabha on Thu Sep 17 7:36:10 2009. [Full View]

ah right not marrying but dating. She dates the guy (or vice versa if the contestant is a man) and probably must have eventually married the same person if rest of the factors were found satisfactory .

From: kid-glove on Thu Sep 17 7:39:28 2009.

[Full View]

Shakthiprabha wrote:

ah right not marrying but dating. She dates the guy (or vice versa if the contestant is a man) and probably must have eventually married the same person if rest of the factors were found satisfactory .

Thought so.

'Sacch Ka Saamna' is another lift. Now that's some show.

From: app_engine on Thu Sep 17 8:27:15 2009. [Full View]

Roshan wrote:

Either arranged marriage or love marriage - there's nothing called "arranged love".

Most of the "dating" (i.e. with a real interest to marriage) in west goes by "arrangement" and that's what I loosely termed "arranged love". (This is different from the likes of boy finds a girl on the bus / train / mall kind - that "dating" ends with one or few nights).

In other words, the better approach to a longer lasting relationship is not to simply base on "instant chemistry" to "fall in love" (which typically fizzles out after the initial "physical intimacy" and proves to be a "fall in relationship") but get to know the person / background for a decent amount of time and have some strong reasons to "love".
From: Ramona on Thu Sep 17 11:49:27 2009. [Full View]

App,

You are close to the reasons behind my post. It distinguishes an independent young mind from an independent older mind. In other words, in the arrnage marriage of a young person, the person(s) arranging the marriage is/are actually acting out of that older mind - an older mind of wisdon, experience etc.
From: app_engine on Wed Sep 23 16:42:21 2009. [Full View]

This is for Roshan
http://www.dinamalar.com/piraithalkal/kumudamnewsdetail.asp?News_id=248&dt=09-24-09

(kumudam features an "arranged love")
From: Sudhaama on Sat Nov 7 15:27:35 2009. [Full View]

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How Classified.?... Arranged or Love-Marriage.?

Most of us are mistaking the Basic Concepts of these Two systems of choosing the Best Life-Partner...

..as if the "Arranged-Marriage" means... a Choice and Decision by the Parents or Gaurdian...

...which is THRUST on the Youth... without any Freedom of the DIRECTLY concerned Partner.

In fact.. the Love-Marriage is the THRUST CHOICE...on the Parents and all other Current WELL-WISHERS...

...who are left in DILEMMA... by the SINGLE-MINDED Choice of the youth only....

..ignoring the fact that the Mother knows her son better.... than that Son about himself.

The Medical Doctor alone can know our physique... better than what we can know of our own body.

I have repeatedly clarified on this point... in various angles...

..and also quoted some cases... where the relevent youth themselves preferably resorted to the system of Arranged-Marriage...

..based on Reasoning and high sense behind Arranged Marriage system.

While it is true... every person in his own interest... has to decide as to which of these two systems... is BEST APPLICABLE to him / her....

..without any BLANKET REJECTION of Arranged Marriage system itself as...OUT-DATED... Is it Not.?

Then rudimentarily... what classifies Arranged Marriage and Love marriage.?

Arranged Marriage system is a TOTAITY OF CONSIDERATION of all the factors and Criteria... to be a FIT LIFE-PARTNER...

...APT Prospective Mother.... Daughter-in-law.... Sister-in-law etc.

...more by the MATCHING QUALITIES and Propensities of the Girl for the Boy and Vice-versa.

In general... the Groom... somehow GETS ENCHANTED and like to possess a Girl for himselves... may be mostly by Glamour... which he names it as LOVE. ..

..and Vice Versa...

..by means of RASH DECISION....

.without much consideration of all the relevent PARALLEL criteria behind...

...vital to ensure a Happy and Successful Married Life... ALL THROUGH... IRRESPECTIVE OF advancement of AGE.... and other factors.

If it is based REALLY ON LOVE... HEART TO HEART... sincerely...

..conforming to our Indian Tradition... well, we welcome it.

But the present Nomenclature of Love-Marriage is holding a Western-Label... MOSTLY AMERICAN (USA)....

...in which sort of approach in general... now-a-days... the Physical glamour.... and SEXUAL RELATION alone are the highlights for selection...

...irrespective of the AFTER-EEFECTS... or the main factor of Longstanding Married-Life.!

On practical observation... we find... in most of the cases of Love Marriage of the current days... the WORST AFFECTED is the Girl....

...in the Long run... if not immediately after Marriage.

MY Dear youth... Beware... Married -Life can be a PARADISE...

....ONLY if the Match is proper.

Only the True matching Sizes and QUALITIES can make the....

... FITEST... Bolt and Nut Combination.!.
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LOOSE THREADS... will LOSE THE GRIP.!
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From: app_engine on Thu Nov 19 11:08:44 2009. [Full View]

http://www.hindu.com/2009/11/19/stories/2009111958120100.htm

Love marriage does not necessarily mean there will be love in the marriage

(The news report talks about Geetha who got murdered in UK brutally ; the separated husband is among the suspects. Theirs was a "love" marriage -specifically, against the wishes of her parents- that ended in separation after two sons and was moving towards divorce when this murder happened)

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